STARING AT THE WALL

Cast and All

2012-02-09T08:37:00.001-06:00

Over a hundred years ago I would be the guy who would dutifully help a lady into a carriage. It's second nature. So, Without pause I would open the door of my vehicle for a girl --and in this case said girl has a broken wrist, and said vehicle is my father's big hondo truck, filling in for my crippled bimmer. However, as this guy right here is rounding the truck with a smile of content on his mug

El & Eddie: Birds

2012-01-19T16:07:00.001-06:00

Riddick: Look at all those birds! There's like 3000 or something!! El: Ya, they're going north. R: Yup, they're going to our house. Our house is north. El: Well, actually there is a different part of north where it's warmer. That's where they're going. Me: Well, you're kind of right. They are going somewhere warmer, but it's the opposite of north. They're going south. R: Yup, our house is south

The story with no ending...

2012-01-11T13:31:00.004-06:00

I had the most delightful and heartwarming evening last night. I got to spend time with two of my dearest friends, Tony and Jodie. It makes me so happy to have learned that I somehow played such a crucial role in their paths crossing at the right time. It's crushing, actually...to consider all that such a sentiment implies...and it almost brings me to tears. In fact, they did as much in their

El & Eddie: Dimensions

2011-12-30T13:41:00.001-06:00

Rddk: Elena let's go to the dinosaur dimension! El: Riddick, where did u hear the word dimension? Rddk: idk, I just figured it out with my brain.

Not Quite 2am

2011-12-20T01:35:00.001-06:00

Not quite a dizzy perch The usual stumble Effortless harrang around The wonder of the heavens Staring at the stars But one of a sort Of different pauses A pause and capture A moment of clear Vision and rapturous Chest swells when the Wind is so strong it Sucks out my Every breath and And I gasp -- Inhale and gasp -- It tears up my eyes They well but strive to Take it all in Capturing what you

Lines from Robert E. Howard

2011-11-26T18:38:00.001-06:00

Drums of glory are lost in the ages, Bare feet fail on a broken trail. -- Let my name fade from the printed pages; Dreams and visions are growing pale. Twilight gathers and none can save me, Well and well, for I would not stay: What of the world that I leave forever? Phantom forms in a fading sight -- Carry me out on the Ebon River -- Into the night.

El & Eddie: You Are Invited!

2011-11-10T18:50:00.001-06:00

Elena: Dad! I have an invitation to go to a birthday party! Me: Really! Where is it? Elena: I don't know! It's in cursive!

My November Address

2011-11-05T02:34:00.001-05:00

So it's a new month, and I feel it's a new season --look at the trees! Feel the weather changing! For me, it's a time to reset...a time to steer back onto a previous set course. A time to also remind those who are just idle observers of who I am: a father, first and foremost, and a friend, second only to the former. As such, expect to see or hear me comment in the social arena words of kindness

El & Eddie: Bad Mermaids

2011-10-23T12:14:00.001-05:00

Elena loves to interact with movies, similar to how audiences do with The Rocky Horror Picture Show. They're currently watching the latest Pirates movie, and the mermaid scene came on. So, of course, Elena conjured up imaginary mermaids wreaking havoc throughout the living room. Riddick is usually in disagreement with the current game afoot, as he is usually the "victim", so he abruptly declared,

On my mind...

2011-10-22T00:49:00.001-05:00

Cloud of star mist, Whirling reflecting, Dream wisp sun kiss --Shape of you. Beauty so timeless, Skin shine infinite, Heart pressed zenith, --Missing you. ... ... ... ... Running from emptiness, Grasping reflecting, Memories of every kiss, --Fading like you. Beauty so timeless, My loss infinite, Heart torn and rent ...I am... ...missing you.

2011-10-18T01:23:00.001-05:00

If I were to make a wish and have things work out just one way just once in my entire life I would wish...

9:30 on a Saturday Night

2011-04-30T21:32:00.000-05:00

Sitting at old Varnished planks On a bar stool With a Fat Tire Eddie Rabbit is Driving his life away I'm considering A sunny day And I know It will always Happen Here and there When I least Expect it All just like This tumultuous Weather Normalcy? Should I hope? Well... It doesn't hurt To hope... Normalcy would Suit me fine But I'm okay Regardless Always the Perpetual optimist... And now...

Blades

2011-04-28T00:53:00.003-05:00

Hey, hey, hey, can I say? Can I say that it wasn't such a bad day? Really. I should be sleeping...as usual. Listening to the Black Keys. Thinking about...that one time...listening to the same album...before the last time. Yeah, those amazing brown eyes. Yeah, thinking about that time.

Please Forgive Me (David Gray)

2011-04-26T01:58:00.001-05:00

"Please forgive meIf I act a little strangeFor I know notWhat I doIt feels like lightningRunning through my veinsEvery timeI look at youEvery timeI look at you"~David Gray

IT IS.

2011-04-17T03:11:00.000-05:00

Being a dad to four extremely unique and wonderful children. Being a teacher in a second grade classroom full of such beautifully diverse students. Being a friend to so many amazing people and hoping that my heart's output is sufficient enough to earn their love and respect. Being a server at an incredibly great steak house. Being some bloke who is organizing a 20 year high school class reunion.

Embodied (working)

2011-04-10T22:11:00.000-05:00

Beautiful blades Of brown hair Swept over brown Eyes Spin it as though Just sometimes But I'll be honest it's all the time That I think of you The coolest grace In the way you move I fall over myself When you change your shoes I hate counting The days That I am Away from you .... .... ....

Your Name

2011-04-02T06:28:00.001-05:00

Caught on the edge Frayed as it might Just be as it may The off random sight Trip on your stare Caught up in your eyes All talk is too brief Too long sleepless nights Toss and then turn A make believe whirl I sing and I miss World spinning unfurled It's all stupid nothing Better sense says to shame But I know I'll sleep better Just savoring your name

A Day in My Life: Post 201

2011-03-28T22:40:00.006-05:00

I rise in the morning.First up.I have been awakened by a secretary calling me to work.I love this one's voice.A voice softer than my grandmother's who died many years ago.I have to tell her no, since I'm already subbing.I wonder if my alarm has already gone off.It has.I take my shirt to be pressed down to the laundry room.Already a song is hitting me.My head has natural reverb.Great Hall.I make a

Of Whom I Dream

2011-02-26T01:30:00.002-06:00

I revelIn dreamsFor whichI sufferThey supplementReal lifeBut a hollowReplacement forThe warmestSoftestDeepestKiss fromThe OneWho moldedMy heartWho hurt meThe mostWho inspired meAll the moreMy museOf a lifetimeWho has loved meLongerThan most haveBeen aliveBut never againShall we everFeel the freeWind thatBlew throughHer windowWhen we wereBoth kidsWhen we thoughtThat life wasSo simpleWhen

Being pwned by Elena

2011-02-08T00:00:00.000-06:00

Elena watching Max and Ruby: "Daddy, I think the name Sally-Swims-a-Lot is a funny name." Me: "How about Sally-Poops-a-Lot?" Elena: "How about Daddy-Idiot-a-Lot?"

Excerpt: "Simple Something Sweet"

2011-02-06T23:06:00.000-06:00

Follow me or I'll Follow you Back to where ends meet Back where I met you Simple something sweet Simple something new Someday mayhap I'll be there Another crossed path with you

Untitled, Continued...

2011-02-05T14:53:00.000-06:00

Hours spent Pages rent Trying to piece Together the words that just don't Seem to be Anything that would Ever move you Closer to Me I've never ever felt So far Beneath The place of another That I cared for With whom I wanted To be

Untitled, To Be Continued...

2011-02-04T21:39:00.000-06:00

I know She doesn't know That I believe That she could be The absolute The most incredible Beautiful Woman that I have Ever known Forever raise her up Never praise her enough For everything Carve her name In stone As the all time Love of my life But she doesn't know Oh Lord! Just let... Just let That change...

Cruces, 20 years ago this month...

2011-02-02T22:20:00.001-06:00

20 years ago, Danny Wilson and I, along with Chris Fouke, had the pleasure of writing a great many songs with Matt Arms in his upstairs bedroom. Fouke, Wilson, and I had been collaborating since the previous October, but had finally found the right drummer for our band with Matt. It was also in January 1991 that we named our band. Chris came to a rehearsal with several Latin words that he thought

"Make your lives extraordinary!"

2010-12-16T20:44:00.001-06:00

Tonight I'm going to do my best to organize and file away papers that have littered my room and the loft for the last several weeks. The need for them has expired as my professional semester is finally over. I had considered retelling the sordid tale about how I was told two weeks ago that I would not be graduating, because I was three credit hours short of fulfilling my mathematics concentration

Galaxies

2010-09-29T11:40:00.000-05:00

It took a few months, but I believe this is the final rewrite for "Serenity's Edge." I threw out the original verse chord progression and melody, and the new one just needed different words. However, I feel that these new verses match the chorus better. Plus, they convey the idea of song better than than the previous one as well. This is definitely going to Heavy Wishing. Word dance Pulse

For the Love of the Crowd, and the Three Cheers from Everyone

2010-09-17T00:24:00.002-05:00

It's been twenty years since several blokes convinced me to sing in a band we were forming. I wanted to play keyboards, but the guy who wanted to start the band had some superman synthesizer, so I submitted and decided to give the singing thing a go. He lasted for about 2 months before we convinced him we had broken up. We "reformed" and that was the beginning of Cruces. That band lasted for

Tonight's Allie Quotes...Just for the Record

2010-09-17T00:00:00.000-05:00

I know I tweet these, but they just get lost in the digi-shuffle. So, this is the best place to perma-post. These are some of Al's classic lines from tonight. "I just found out a couple days ago I have a thinking face." ‎"You know what I would love to do?! Be a vampire in a movie! But have you ever seen a blonde chick as a vampire?!?! No! They always have brown hair and brown eyes!" "The

Field Trips or Bust

2010-09-14T17:44:00.000-05:00

Ro: Guess what? We'll probably only get to go on two field trips this year! Me: So? Ro: So??? We went on like six last year!!! Our teacher said they have no money! Me: Dude, when I was in school we were lucky to go on even one field trip every year! Ro: Dad! Get over the past! That was in the Nineteen Hundreds! You had no money back then! Elena: What about the Eighties?! Me: YEAAAAAAH!!!

Aching for Winter

2010-08-17T03:01:00.006-05:00

Aching for winterI feel for herI try for my lastAthen's stretchI need it nowBecause I knowIn the darkest pastI lost it allAching for arms aroundThe whole of meSo much to beMore than a sketchThat will come to lifeAnd close my eyesAnd fly with meWhen it's time to chooseDeath or the evermoreEverlasting, tide uprisingGrand amourAll seasons mooredIt's in our handsWhat do we do?Early morning

Get Up and Go

2010-08-08T09:21:00.000-05:00

Here are the lyrics for the final group presentation that Jessica Herring and I did for KIN 202. The prompt was to give a presentation on why we should teach physical education in the classroom. The video of our presentation can be found HERE. Watch out next year for more from The Nasty Blessings! Days are tough Kids talk rough Books are long Answers wrong What can we do? Can we make it new?

Elena's Pine Cone

2010-08-04T19:58:00.000-05:00

I just gave Elena a small calendar for the new year called "Baby Animals." We started going through, flipping the pages, naming each animal. There was a penguin chick, a polar bear cub, a fawn, etc. Then I flipped the page and saw this squat little baby porcupine, something I had honestly never seen before, and Elena said, "Awwwww! A baby pine cone!"

Age Appropriate

2010-07-26T20:47:00.001-05:00

Bearing pointBreaking pointI've seen them the sameMine own forgotten measureSuspension of...Well...Prolonged belief?Or maybe it's theAffective embattlementJust so...Caught up in it allFrightening emotionsMuddled justificationsBreathing intermittentlyPassionately feastingPicking and choosingRazor sharp jagged shardsPlacements guessedAdjusted hastilyFusing togetherMismatched edgesBut aren't the

CRUCES...20 years old this year?!?!

2010-07-09T03:37:00.003-05:00

I was just considering that it will have been twenty years since Danny Wilson, Christopher Fouke, and myself started Cruces in September 1990. Matt Arms later joined after the new year with many other members passing through the ranks until the band called it quits in August of 2002. Seriously...twenty years? That's ridiculous. Just to woolgather, I uploaded "Spectacle of Sick Amusement" to the

Tremble Bare

2010-06-27T22:56:00.001-05:00

I thought I had posted the lyrics to Tremble Bare some time ago, but I guess not! At Val's request, here they are! Check out the tune if you haven't done so at Heavy Wishing's MySpace page.Blanket moreIt’s lonely warmth for nowIsolateDon’t know better at what elseTremble barePut off all the soundsFlicker starsDance behind my sore closed eyesNarrow viewFrom my sideDistance youMust abideYou must

Serenity's Edge v1.2

2010-06-16T22:50:00.006-05:00

Breathtaking trapezeNo safety belowThe touch, the first, the needDo we dare to show?Stand above the seaI gaze at your breathYou motion to me"The sky is on fire!" you gaspAll the color you seeThe beauty, the pain, the depthStill you wonder at me"How can you love me?" you askLightning in the distanceEverything opensEdges of galaxiesI see youAnd it allMake senseEven though you areParsecs awayAs the

Lovin' It

2010-06-15T16:09:00.003-05:00

I'm about to start getting ready for work. Why am I posting now? Because I'm sitting down, that's why. Actually, these past several days have been quite lazy to tell the truth. This summer class schedule is nothing like intersession. I have class at the same time, 8:40 a.m., but instead of leaving school at almost 3 p.m., I out just a bit after 11 a.m. Also, the workload is spread out

Encounter

2010-06-14T23:41:00.003-05:00

ImprovisationThe honest carouseSenses askewTumble on downThe stuff the tuftSmatter and laughterDizzy smeared looksCursory glancePatchwork faceAll the overSomething aboutNever mindAll stopLocked

Serenity's Edge

2010-06-13T14:59:00.001-05:00

There are timesThat I sit stillNothing invadesThere are no lightsI see every star in the skyTime loses meaningI want to burstLightning in the distanceEverything opensThe breeze holds meA waking dreamEdges of galaxiesI see youAnd it all makes senseEven though you areParsecs away

The Bed that You Make

2010-06-09T12:18:00.004-05:00

I was just walking to the library from the communications parking lot and decided to take a longer, distantly familiar path, around Lawson toward the Ag building. I wanted to snap some pics with my phone, as I will soon no longer be on campus, and those who know me know that I am the sentimental type. However, I did not anticipate the rush of feelings that started to wash over me. Something

"Gladiolas" by Ida

2010-05-11T09:51:00.002-05:00

I always return to Ida. This is from their album The Braille Night, and is just incredibly lost and haunting...an older, lonelier sense of the all that is the splendor of Americana."Gladiolas" by IdaOn the way to CaliforniaSee my sister CarolinaLooking out on South DakotaAt a field of gladiolasGonna sell it in the summerleave behind the floods and wintersLetting go of what they sufferedLet it

"And if you have a minute why don't we go..."

2010-04-24T00:46:00.001-05:00

"...talk about it somewhere only we know..."I'm literally lying in bed with my eyes closed, typing this...I'll proof read before I post, so...it's all good. I thought I'd write just because, well, I want to. I have nothing really big to say, no poetry, no lyrics, no la-dee-da. I'm just...here.The past two weeks have been pretty cool actually. I started tutoring on campus, working with students

Last Screams

2010-04-09T02:08:00.003-05:00

After three a.m. walkingThrough forsaken gardenSilver leaves they fall and kissHallowed pale skin that theMoonlight bathes hair and scarfBlown in the crying windI stay the fear that I'llForgetNo matter howBrave we areIn cold like thisHearts will freezeI must stand tallI must seem strongThey may say theLast screams loudestI won't makeA soundWrestle with the winter's peakSuffering wonderingLimbs

Watching the Fall

2010-04-04T00:23:00.000-05:00

I desire to escape This prison of being Outside, looking in Embittered in want To submit to disdain And hating my heart That still remains open Raped and asunder A dream just to be Blissful in ignorance Unfortunately though Unwillingly omnipotent Flows of information Effortlessly drown my Every sense like the Din that roars and Seeks to break what I had, such candor That I am afraid Won't

All six eyes stared fixedly on you

2010-03-25T22:54:00.003-05:00

"Years may come, years may go...did you hear we change? They told me so." Just a line from a song I wrote in early '97 that we never used. Something that has weighed on me recently, more so than other detractors in my life --I know a lot of good people with great intentions and big hearts, but I know very few people that are real. I struggle to comprehend why this is. There is a song called "

Umm...ouch?

2010-03-21T12:59:00.002-05:00

A most bizarre thing just occurred. I was unzipping my gig bag to take out my guitar, as I have an idea fresh in my mind. I restrung it two nights ago for recording, and as my usual practice, I don't cut the excess string off from the post. My guitar is ever so slightly longer than my gig bag, so I have to somewhat forcefully pull the zipper around the headstock to make a quick job of it. When I

How, and How

2010-03-16T22:32:00.004-05:00

Oh, my back and neck are stiff. My eyes are even stiffer...how's that for an odd description? It's this head cold that has me captive. Fortunately, I know it'll be past in several days. God has blessed me with a quick rebound time in recent years. Regardless, I'm still feeling the pressure tonight.I'm about to finish my Portfolio 1 for ED308, and then I need to wrap up HW2 for ED317...aaaand then

The Quiet Sustain

2010-03-08T00:00:00.002-06:00

(work in progress)Hey Mark, what were youSaying the other day?Wait...that wasTwelve years agoJust like then I amLonelier todayExcept nowYou're goneI promise I listenedTo youI always sangAlongI saw your wordsIn colors soft and trueThat you will singNo moreI bet she isSitting at homeMark, do you thinkThere's still hope?She fliesThen she hidesAnd I no longerKnowThe painI feelHas no placeTo go

Four-Fifteen Sherry Pain

2010-02-27T23:54:00.000-06:00

I'm in the darkMonitor glowsBeautiful facesReflect the lightHeavy breathingSmall and preciousThis is whereI Want to beWith themAlwaysOf course I knowThat is not how it worksBut I still cherishThe momentI still cherishTheir soundsThis is our last nightIn this houseI'm ready to leaveI died hereI was born hereI will leave nothingI will take nothingI just want to beWith themAlwaysAnd that can

The Lie

2010-02-26T02:00:00.002-06:00

Air so sweet the memoryBlue waters and their tangWaves of the all engulf meAnd it builds some morePull so close in bindingBreathe that breath to claimStandard of a sensual chorusSo easy to stay this wayWorried echoes of angelsLaughter that chances to dareMuster of wanton naiveteAnd it builds some moreCries in dark embracingFlesh slides smooth and bareConsuming and creatingPromise to stay this

Velvet

2010-02-20T01:41:00.004-06:00

Just when I thoughtEverything was goneOut of nowhereYou appearedI would be lyingIf I saidI didn't fall for youFrom the first time I saw youThe fire beside usThe silence around usI could have stayedWith you for hoursThe velvet of your voiceThe glaze of your eyesCaught me by surpriseLost and mesmerizedThe curve of your lipsAnd the glow on your skinI'll never recoverEngraved in my mindCan't bear to

Luster

2010-02-17T23:56:00.009-06:00

I'm posting this tonight for a friend. I wrote "Luster" sometime in '04 I believe. It was both autobiographical and modeled after similar experiences in some of my friends' lives. And just now I was thinking about a conversation I had tonight with a good friend, and this song crossed my mind, so...this is for you A.Air so closeHaze all I seeThere you are perfectStock smile in front of meHow do

"Little Things" by Pomplamoose

2010-02-16T00:15:00.003-06:00

sorting all the lights and darksmaking sure our love won't lose that sparkyou really didn't have to.funny pictures that you takedinner out instead of shake'n'bakeyou really didn't have to.movies and magazinesfilling our heads with dreamsbut love is the little thingslove changes everything.picking me up after workputting up with all my silly quirksyou really didn't have to.saying that my cooking

Ardor

2010-02-13T21:56:00.003-06:00

My head it searchingly achesMy eyes close just to waitAnd I want justOne thing...My heart pounds within my throatMy stomach is afloatAnd I want justOne thing...This room is getting smallerAs the night grows longerAnd I want justOne thing...Such prolonged pendulousnessA dare will only bestAnd I want justOne thing...If only prescience were mineWarmest solace divineAnd I want justOne thing...But the

2010-01-26T20:52:00.002-06:00

i've never wanted for much, but...this is one of those times...I just want to freeze this feeling...and keep it...stowed away...for all-time. Yeah.

I am not used to quiet...

2010-01-24T22:23:00.006-06:00

I am not used to quiet.Not yet.Wait three minutes...Wait...There it is!The humidifier.I have a song goingThrough my head.It's open-ended,Not complete...Okay, not even nearCompletion.I keep picking up the guitarReturning to the first verseAnd playing through...It's how they all begin you know.Some make it whileMost just dwindle awayAnd are lost.I feel that way a lot;Like I'm dwindling away...I

I'll be sad when Elena loses her speech impediment

2010-01-21T19:12:00.003-06:00

Elena walks into my room holding a Star Wars blaster and says, "Daddy! We are de tops, and we're going to arrest you! Shoot'im Riddit!" Riddick starts yelling, like he's snapping into a Slim Jim, and Elena marks me with the red laser from the toy gun and shouts, "Oooo! Daddy! Der's a lady bud on you!"

Restore

2010-01-20T03:08:00.005-06:00

I posted the lyrics to Restore as a note on Facebook some time ago. I've been watching the video of me performing the song to consider different approaches to the vocal line, and it just got me thinking about the song content in general, and how much it really means to me. I wrote this song last year on Riddick's birthday, which is on the 31st of this month. It is actually a very personal song,

Reset

2009-12-14T03:47:00.006-06:00

Skin crackedAlong the fingerprintIt heals...Cracks again...It's an endless cycleAt least in the winterBut afterward it's goodFor a very long whileThen as always is the caseThe weather changes backAnd then cracked againAnd I always forgetHow to deal with itLike it's newAnd my brain wondersWhy it even bothersBecause I'll never learnAnd I mean neverIn the sense of neverSo I mend and healI do what I

Marais des Cygnes

2009-12-12T13:32:00.005-06:00

Seriously thoughIs it all in some way ofTrying to reconcileWith the lack of action andFeeling and emotionAnd all of the aboveOf everything that maybe youFeel that in the long run ofAnother day in timeYou might leave this placeThis last place of BleedingBefore the Lost CauseYou just might considerTrading in all of theNonsense and fever pitchThe non-such and for onceLetting something orSomeone take

Brasserie

2009-12-04T13:17:00.004-06:00

I have castA frail and thinCloak aroundMy skinAnd dream of once whenI entered inA place so warmWith friendsWith smells of breadRich drafts of mirthSo rich it tookMy sightI supped and drankTo my heart’s contentI cried tears ofDelightWe sang for loveWe sang for healthWe sang with allOur mightThere was no countOf hours pastSo stretched a longGood nightNow memory isSo cruel to meAs I walk in

I'm Here Now

2009-12-01T03:03:00.007-06:00

I'm here nowConsidering possibilitiesWandering paths that maybeI have no business exploringThere is no directionNothing outlined for meSo I'm just trying my bestFeeling around in this darkTrying to make out whichRay of light to followVery fearful that the mostBeautiful is nothing but anIllusion that has my heartBound in a perpetual loop ofExhaustive hopefulnessSome nights I laughSome nights I

"In the Sun" by Joseph Arthur

2009-11-30T01:30:00.004-06:00

I picture you in the sunWondering what went wrongAnd falling down on your kneesAsking for sympathyAnd being caught in between all you wish forAnd all you've seenAnd trying to find anything you can feelThat you can believe inMay God's love be with youAlways....May God's love be with youI know I would apologizeIf I could see your eyes'Cause when you showed me myself, you knowI became someone

One Month

2009-11-28T02:01:00.001-06:00

MonstrouslyRazzmatazz amazinglySurely feverishlyInexplicablyAdamantlyWonderfullyUnreasonablyBy far unseasonablyA parting of the seas for meHail that cab for youBow to the night for meInterestinglyNever effortlesslyAbiding by the rulesAccordinglyTripping into youCrashinglySmashinglyTry me and take meEarnestlySweetlySoftlyWait then wait thenReach to the skyOpen-heartedlyHeatedlyPassionatelyForever

Such Beauty Gone

2009-11-18T01:42:00.003-06:00

I want to beA mountain streamThat flows down fromThe highest of peaksI would cleanseAll places of darkness I wouldDo this allUnseenI want to beThe tallest of treesI would protectAll who needed meI could giveShelter and moreIf someone just neededMeToo many daysWith no one aroundFeel thatLower can’t be foundI crawl through the truthsMaze riddled hazeGrasp atEvery single soundI hear a song ofSuch

Illusion of Elusiveness

2009-11-14T03:11:00.003-06:00

High order concernSuperfluous thoughtsBrain hurricaneLingering worriesThe binding restraintsOf the situationSleep deprivationEmotive starvationBut processing it allReflection and translationAn easy to see functionI marvel at our likenessKnowing the answerAfraid to say itToo soon too early too muchBut still...Cannot second guessThe strikingly obviousThe honest observationComplexity colored

Like Nothing Ever Happened

2009-11-13T18:57:00.004-06:00

Take the tripBack to townTo remember when youWanted the finer thingsOh! the cotton blends ofLife so fastYou wanted inBut then you neverHad the chance toHang on so youWent on your own tripThrough the starsMapped how you likeYet in it allSomething wasn't rightSo you looked to the fourCorners of the roomThat you're soaking in'Cause it seemsNew now and thenYou say that some thingsCan't be sharedAnd

I am the Phoenix

2009-11-12T03:38:00.003-06:00

I was dead butI am still awareI am careful to considerI am full of emotionI will rise again todayI was empty butI am alive with desireI am stored up with passionI am willing to waitI will win a smile todayI was the sacrifice butI am reassemblingI am reconstitutingI am reconstructingI will be of clear mind and conscienceI was fearful of new feelingsI am now firm in what I wantI am brimming full in

Road Trip into the Sun

2009-11-10T00:42:00.004-06:00

This a road long ago traveledMaybe completely unknownIt is hard to tellHard to seeSurely there are markersBut in this blur unseenSpeeding and speeding and speedingWhere there were torrents of rainNow the sun is too brightThe weather almost too fairAm I hopelessly open?Too purposefully unguarded?Earnest and willing?Speeding and speeding and speedingI just feel like exploding though!It is so

Pause and Apprehension

2009-11-01T19:08:00.004-06:00

I can smell it...I can almost feel it...I know it is thereA new breezeThough faint I know it is thereBecause I have heard its voiceI have heard its songAnd I just keep waiting and waitingAnd the candles are burning downAnd fear is creeping around my mindAnd that fear has only stolen aboardBy way of an older and less promisingHarsh wind of the pastGuiltless and remorselessA wind that was full of

The Wind and the Gray

2009-10-31T00:27:00.005-05:00

Some mention of lossVague and off to the sideSilent and litheSo dear to my sightFoot fall and stopBroken lips more than notA sad picture says allBut that’s not what I seeThey may seeWhat did never mendThey may tellOf what they heard and thenThey may proposeThe sordid rumored endThey may all serveThemselves forever illSimple windSimple grayUnmistakable smell of aSummer rainI can’t tellWhat I

Was

2009-10-29T19:49:00.006-05:00

Finally home and it's all finishedI look back for love of fiction I wishThat somewhere back there I don't know whenMaybe what if we had waited, you know who's to sayThe brighter side could've taken holdMaybe obliterate the thought of being oldIt's hard now, so hard nowGood and evil both farewellTime doesn't exist for meForgotten gone away I'll envyFor what I am known for what I will beMeans

Whenever I Fall

2009-10-29T03:00:00.003-05:00

Washing cycle carries onThe candles have all gone to bedSitting criss-cross on the floorAnd I am thinking about a friendly voiceNo expectation to lasso the moonI do not even know what time it isStaring at a shadow that will not moveAnd I am thinking about a friendly voiceThe carpet tells no tale of running feetThe refrigerator echos near emptySmall voices remember me from across the townAnd I am

"Lolo Sang" by Ida

2009-10-24T15:47:00.003-05:00

All the time we spent runningFrom the war, from the delugeI was sure that I would see youOnce again, once againDidn’t know if you were lookingFor a highway or a roomOr the promise of some refugeOr a good friend to help you thoughOh the days are getting shorterAnd the wild flowers take the windAnd I hear the night birds singingWill I see your face again?Long ago on an islandWhere the rice fields

Late Blues

2009-09-22T02:30:00.003-05:00

if i get lost along the way to meet youif i'm more than a little lateif i get caught up in circles chasing my own tailif i trip up and fail youif i let you downif i let you downi can see that injury that accompanies the passage of yearsi can try to rationalize the accumulation of fearsand the dreams that draw a song in pursuit of the end of timeand the grace that illuminates the pathif i let you

After Dinner

2009-08-14T18:58:00.004-05:00

Elena: Mommy? Why do we say, "May I be Ets-stused?"Emily: Well, that's what we say when we're polite.Rohan: That's what fancy people say, and eventually, I will become fancy.Emily: Rohan, you're adorable.Elena: Rohan, someday a hot durl is dowing to marry you!

I am the Rain King

2009-07-01T23:58:00.003-05:00

Wow...I'm worn out, but I thank God for the energy I seem to have in reserve. I've been so happy that I've been able to squeeze in workouts the last two nights. Hopefully I can keep it up. With the chiropractic and massage visits a couple times a week, the hip is starting to come around enough that I've been able to do these workouts. Not to dismiss all of the stretching and heat and cold

The cuteness of Elena continues...

2009-06-18T15:31:00.004-05:00

I'm in the dining room working on some tabs, and Elena comes in and says that she's "humbry." As much as I love that word, I correct her and ask her to politely ask for something to eat. I then get her a Lunchable out of the fridge, unpack it, and hand it to her. She asks, "Am I going to eat this in the living room?" I say, "Sure, just be careful." She then smiles and roles her eyes and

Another Elena-ism

2009-06-11T09:21:00.003-05:00

Elena: Daddy do you want to see what I drawed?Daddy: Sure.Elena: See?!Daddy: Oh! That's wonderful!Elena: Do you want to see what Allie drawed!Daddy: Sure.Elena: See?!Daddy: That's great! Hey, do you know how we say that? We say, "drew." So, I draw my picture, but I drew it yesterday. So, see what I can draw? See what I just drew? So, can you say drew? Say drew.Elena: Drooled!Daddy: Umm...

Summer Is Here

2009-06-07T23:38:00.002-05:00

I know if I told a story about finding a penny, someone could tell one about finding a quarter, but for me, the penny is enough. Having said that, our summer is shaping up to be quite busy, and I'm hoping that we can find a groove and settle into it.Rohan and Elena start tennis tomorrow which lasts until late July. Elena's age group starts at 8 a.m. and goes until 10 a.m., which is when Rohan's

Bathtime: as Heard from My Bed

2009-05-31T22:02:00.005-05:00

Elena: “Oh, Mom!”Riddick: “Mim!”Em: “What?”Riddick: “Mim!”Elena: “Oh, Mom!”Em: “What honey!”Elena: “Oh, I fordot to pee adin!”Em: “Well, that’s okay…”Riddick: “Mim!”Em: “It looks like your brother did too…”Riddick: “O’no!”Elena: “OOOOO!”Em: “Don’t worry about it”Riddick: “Mim!”Em: “What?”Riddick: “I’ha!”Elena: “Mom!”Em: “What’s hot?”Riddick: “I’ha!”Em: “Yes, the water’s hot…”Elena: “Mom!”Em: “

JOURNAL ENTRY 04/28/09 - Thirty-Five and Going to School

2009-05-30T23:47:00.007-05:00

Sometimes I write things on my laptop when on occasion I don't have my journal with me. I just came across this tonight, as I was cleaning up some directories. It's pretty recent and meaningful to me personally, so I thought I'd go ahead and post it here.I was at the point of utter exhaustion. I had not slept the night before and had only three hours from the night before that. My limbs did not

Riddick Has Shed the Penguin!

2009-05-21T21:33:00.012-05:00

Today was a much better day for Riddick, praise the Lord! He is not on oxygen anymore and is doing very well for a two-year-old that has basically laid in the same position for over 36 hours. He ate a little more today than he did yesterday, but that really isn't saying much considering how little he ate. However, Emily is not worried about it, so I trust her judgement. Really, the only

Riddick in the Hospital

2009-05-20T20:30:00.003-05:00

I hated leaving Riddick tonight. Emily is with him, but he is still too young to understand why he has to stay there, and why his Daddy, brother and sisters left him. He hates having his oxygen mask on, so that is the real reason why he worked himself up into a crying fit. Then we had to leave, because I needed to get the other kids home to do homework and go to bed. That's when he started

The Storm

2009-05-18T21:53:00.016-05:00

Things are finally getting back to normal around our house after dealing with the storm that was oddly tagged an inland hurricane, or derecho storm, depending on which side of the proverbial storm fence you're sitting on. There were gusts of wind with speeds of over 100 mph recorded, and the wind was sustained for well over half an hour. It's hard to find official reports, but those figures are

2009-05-10T22:22:00.003-05:00

Our pwr bills would be a lot less if we went dark ages more often. Food can hold in the fridge 4 48 hrs; evry othr day hit the main beaker & pwr bill cut n hlf.

2009-05-09T20:17:00.003-05:00

I was in the kitchen digging around for ice in the cooler when Elena joined me and said, "We can't see the ice cubes because of the darkness, right daddy?"

2009-05-08T00:33:00.004-05:00

The rain is definitely coming down hard outside. We have our door open to the sleeper porch which makes it all the more enjoyable. I love weather like this at night. However, our tropical rain forest out back doesn't need any more encouragement. It's already going to be a nightmare trying to mow it.On another note, my last final exam was today. It was just early world civ, so it was all

Elena, Baby Slimers, and Sliders

2009-05-05T11:59:00.006-05:00

So I was walking through the kitchen to the breakfast nook with some freshly nuked White Castle burgers. I know that sounds extremely healthy and appetizing, but they're the first I've bought at the super market in almost two years --guilty pleasure, and since I know how nasty they are for my consitution and overall well-being, I'm very much aware when I bought them last. Anyway, Elena came

2009-05-03T22:14:00.002-05:00

Rather insignificant day.Went to my niece's birthday party. It was nice to see some of Em's family and some friends, since we really don't get out much. Someone blew up a lot of balloons for the kids to beat each other with. That got kind of loud. VH1 Classic was playing a one hit wonders show. Midnight Oil a one hit wonder? I didn't really agree with that one.Riddick's allergies are

2009-05-03T19:26:00.003-05:00

I'm going to start transferring my MySpace blogs from the past couple of years just for the hey of it. Dinner is almost ready, the kids are going crazy with the dogs, so I'm not getting much work done anyway.

2009-05-03T01:00:00.002-05:00

I haven't blogged in years, but I thought I'd start it back up. I actually keep a journal, mainly because I think there is still something to be said about a person's handwriting. So within the binding of my journals will always be words that only my children will read someday after I'm gone. For the rest of the world there is this.So tonight, or rather last night, as it is now after one in

2008-07-06T19:23:00.000-05:00

Summer so far... My summer semester is half-way finished. It wraps up on the 31st, then we have two weeks off. Every evening is full of homework, but I'm pretty accustomed to it now. It all seems to be flying by really. I should finish JALC in the fall and be at SIU in the spring. Woohoo! My swimming in the morning is getting better. When I first started four weeks ago, I almost died after

Once

2008-04-04T19:27:00.002-05:00

We bought a lot of movies tonight, because that is something that we love to do. One of the movies was "Once". What can I say? It’s an absolutely beautiful and brilliant movie. If you’ve ever loved music, because music is all you’ve ever had at any point in your life, and if you’ve ever loved, because that love was something that you could never have...then you’ll get this movie. If not, don’

Early Morning Gutter Twins

2008-03-20T19:28:00.001-05:00

Emily and I made it up to Chicago two weeks ago in a whirlwind trip to see a late night Gutter Twins show. We left around 4:45 in the late afternoon and got to my brother’s place off of Division around 9:30. A rather eventless trip, which cannot be complained about. I will say there was a gas stop North of Champaign that I remember quite well, because of a wind chill that almost

R.I.P. Heath Ledger

2008-01-23T19:29:00.001-06:00

This really bummed me out. I've liked Heath's work ever since the Fox network's Roar, back in the late 90's, and had been totally stoked about his upcoming portrayal of the Joker in the Dark Knight. In more ways than one, this echoes Michael Hutchence. Very sad.

If I May Boast

2008-01-15T19:30:00.001-06:00

In the last eight weeks I have gone from weighing 187 lbs to 162 lbs. I didn't really set out to lose 25 lbs...it just seemed to coincide with changing the way I eat and starting an every other day workout program. I never really thought I'd look "thin" again. I guess I'm posting this as incentive to myself to keep the weight off, lest I fall

Radiohead's "In Rainbows"

2007-10-18T19:32:00.004-05:00

Jef from Himalayas sent out a bulletin recently pushing Radiohead's newest effort "In Rainbows". I was just talking to my great friend Corey the other night on the phone about this release. We both agreed that we probably only listened to "Hail to the Thief" a handful of times, if that, and might each grab a copy of this latest release just because it was Radiohead, even though neither of us

Faster Painted Pussycat

2007-10-18T19:31:00.002-05:00

I had just finished painting the floor of our sleeper porch that is right off of our bedroom. I put up a baby gate to keep our dog out of the wet paint, because he had been nosing around trying to figure out what I was doing. I then grabbed a bite to eat down in the breakfast nook when Emily came in from some errands. She asked if I had the room shut off upstairs, and I told her about the gate

2007-08-14T19:33:00.001-05:00

My friend Corey told me tonight that music mogul Tony Wilson of Factory Records and founder of The Hacienda club passed away last Friday after a long battle with kidney cancer. This guy was so influecial to the Manchester scene. He signed such acts as Joy Division, New Order, and the Happy Mondays. If you get a chance, rent 24 Hour Party People, which is about his life. Here's a blog with