The Amazing Rohan Does it Again.

This time he managed to fall into the Ohio River. Yeah. Not something I've ever done in my lifetime, but we are talking about the Amazing Rohan. Remember, he's amazing, because after all of his misadventures he's still alive. My dad took Allie and Rohan to Fort Massac at Metropolis, IL. and while walking along down by the river (no there was no van) Allie got up on a washed up log and walked along its length. Of course, Rohan tried to do the same and fell with one foot in the water and one still on the log. Dad said that Rohan panicked, tried to scramble back onto the log, and flipped head over heels into the water. He started screaming hysterically, and it took awhile to calm him down. Dad told him not to worry, that they would dry him off as soon as they got back to the truck. However, upon regaining his composure, Rohan informed him that he had been upset only because he was worried that "the sharks" were going to bite him.

I am absolutely amazed that my son Rohan is still with us. He flirts with death all the time...and he's five. Tonight, he and his sister Allie shouted their "goodnights" from their bedroom, and then we heard what sounded like a boulder crashing through to the first floor. Rohan had managed to flip head first off the top bunk, over the safety rail mind you. He smashed though the keyboard shelf of Allie's desk, ripping it from the desk itself. On top of that, or should I say underneath it all, a shattered bottle of nail polish. That's gonna bring up the varnish on the wood floor. We ran into the room and found that he was already on his feet crying. He ran to Emily as I knelt over the whole mess. Allie was standing beside me, and I asked her to grab Elena and take her to her room. Allie then proceeds to try and walk barefooted though the rubble. I throw up and arm, barring her way, and advised her intelligent self to go around the other way. Rohan managed to almost do the same thing about ten minutes later. Then as he was sitting in Allie's lounge chair with a bag of ice on his head, he managed to flip it over on top of himself. After I got though cleaning the mess, Allie advised us that Elena's foot had been bleeding, but that "it was almost dried now"......just wonderful. I'm just blown away.

My friend Kirk has included this blog in one of his links, so I thought that I ought to put up a little update.

My daughter Elena Estelle turns ONE today!!!!!! Rohan had his birthday two weeks ago (on some other person's bday :D ) and had a pretty good time. He starts kindergarten this year. Allie is almost done with her last bit of vacation with her dad, so we're looking forward to her getting home.

We're going to be moving soon. We're buying our first (most likely last) house and we close in two days. It's a great house built in 1920, and we can't wait to start working on it. We're turning the attic into a bedroom for Rohan, and we're combining two rooms on the second floor into a master suite. We'll hopefully tackle the kitchen this coming spring. Some people keep saying,"Oh, get ready for a huge headache..." even knowing that I do this sort of thing for a living every day. I've been demolishing and rebuilding since I was thirteen. Guess to be me is a real headache.

Saw one of my aunts yesterday for the first time in many years. Mentally challenged. Pulled up in my Mom and Dad's driveway in a mini-van as we were making pieces for a pergolla. Didn't know she could drive ---really didn't know who she was for that matter. My mom reported updates to my Dad later that night. Her oldest is almost out of juvey since he's almost twenty-one. Won't tell you why he's there, and don't ask if he forced some boys to allow him to perform felatio on them in a jr. high bathroom under threat of violence, because I won't comment. Her daughter is back home with her, since being in foster homes since the age of twelve. She's eighteen now, and I guess she thought it was smart to go home to mom, even though mom's boyfriend was the one who raped her six years ago. Sure that dude's gone, and my aunt's current husband is in prison for fifteen, but I'm just thinking that "home" would not be the best place to be living if living is what you want to do. I haven't even seen these kids for over fifteen years. Craziness. God be with them.

The band finally got a decent rehearsal space, all thanks to our drummer Joe. Maybe we'll get back to playing out. Who knows?

What else....what else...

We've said goodbye to our landline, and I don't think we'll be picking it back up at the new place. Kind of a nice feeling.

I guess I'm about to dive back into the joy that goes along with moving. Ordering new checks, throwing away all the free address labels that we've collected over the past two years from VFW mailings :). Calling ump-teen places to change our mailing address. Changes our mailing address at ump-teen more places online. Doing the mailing address change thing with the post office. Then hoping no bills get lost in the mail. Yea.

Something died somewhere hidden in the hall bathroom this past weekend. Now our bedroom closet which is beside the bathroom is eminating a nice sweet odor of death. Lovely, lovely, lovely. We've been having to sleep with a candle burning at night, hoping that the cat doesn't decide to burn the place down.

Guess that's all for now. Gotta go start baking Elena's cake, so Emily can frost it when she gets home.

So I haven't blogged in forever. Oh well, what can I say.

I copied this short bit from an email that I sent to some friends. It's about my trip with the wife and kids to go see "Batman Returns". Enjoy...

Just saw it. It was pretty good from all that I gathered. I say this, because of course it was a typical night at the movies for the Cooks.

We stop at the good ol' IL Center 8, and I run in to buy tickets. One girl is tapping a stack of Father's Day Sith posters on the counter, and while I'm wondering how I could score one, I almost miss the other girl short change me a ten dollar bill. I question the amount of change given, and she apologetically slips my ten-spot through the window. After walking out I kick myself for not asking for a poster to make up for the small misunderstanding. We drive around for a bit to kill time, knowing that the less time spent sitting in the theater, the less fussy Elena will become. I tell Emily about the two movie girlies, the posters, and the short-changing. Emily tells me I should have been cute and gotten that poster. Imagine ---my wife shaming me for not flirting.

We return to the movies after Emily and Allie argue for ten minutes about where some friend of Allie's lives. (??? ---such important issues.) We walk into the building, and Rohan bee-lines for the water fountain. Nothing good will come of that, I know. We file into the theater and shuffle into a row near the back of the room, but not near enough. Allie has a spiral fracture below her left elbow, and because of it's location (or dislocation I should say) from the growth plate, she doesn't have a cast, but a robot arm thingy that when bumped she's in tears. This does happen while we're trying to get the kids seated, and she does erupt into tears. After some verbal caressing, she settles down to her usual somber self.

For fifteen minutes, we sit through the bad theater trivia advertising slide-show, which loops at least three times. I look over and Allie and Emily are starting to fight. Emily is telling her that she can't go swimming with her Dad's family like he said that she could next weekend (what a moron), and she's starting to do her quiet mopey crying bit like her favorite slacker rocker has blown his head off and she can't find a candle to light and has no flannel to wear to the vigil. After trying to assure her that we're only thinking of her well-being, we get her to stop crying (again), and she drops her head to stare at the floor.

Previews start. Rohan keeps rubbing his eyes and says that they're burning. I tell him if he's tired, he may want to close his eyes. He says he's not tired. Elena keeps wanting to be passed back and forth between Emily and myself. Emily has brought fries in from Sonic to give to Elena to keep her quiet, so we take turns with one of us holding her and one of us shoving fries into the lil' guppies maw. Allie the 9-year-old vacuum keeps eating the fries, Emily keeps snapping at her, and Allie returns to more staring at the floor like it's full of reflections of happiness lost. I can't imagine what she's going to be like as a teenager. I'm definitely hiding my Cure cd collection.

Rohan's Velcro movie booster seat keeps falling over to one side, and although he requests my help in the matter, his simultaneous attempts to remedy the situation thwart my efforts to help him out. The result is something out of a Peter Sellers flick.

During the Dukes of Hazzard trailer Rohan says his eyes won't stop burning and starts to cry. I get up, take Rohan to the bathroom, rinse his hands, rinse his eyes, let him do his usual cycle with the hand dryer, let him stop at the water fountain (please let him have an iron bladder), and then march him back to his seat.

Movie starts. Rohan wants to know when does he turn into Batman. Elena starts crying. Emily leaves the theater with her. The kids are more concerned where their mother has gotten off to than what's on the screen, and so they keep turning one-eighties in their seats thinking that they'll find her. Rohan's movie seat slips to the side at least several times during these visual recon missions.

Rohan still wants to know when does he turn into Batman. Rohan then gets on my lap for round one of the twenty minute twist and squirm game (at least ol' B.W. turned into Batman.) Rohan then has to go pee. My Dad claims the kid sat all the way through Sith and then hit the bathroom running after the credits started to roll, but I guess Batman doesn't hold the same curiosity for him. I take him to the bathroom during the Arkham Asylum fight; guess I'll have to catch that one on the dvd. I look in the stall to tell him to hurry up. This is what I see: Rohan levitating over the bowl gripping the bare rim of the toilet like a prize gymnast on the parallel bars. I checked...just because...and we'll say that the guy before Rohan didn't have good aim. Hell, the last twenty guys. Anyway, this means of course I definitely can't skip the ritual of the washing of the hands. However, I did make him skip the hand dryer much to his disappointment and gave him a quick lesson in shaking them dry.

After being reseated and watching more of the movie. some gunther guy gets up to go to or go do whatever and trips on our diaper bag that Emily has forgotten ---both ways. I locate the bag and shove it under the seat in front of me. Rohan is thirsty. I tell him he can wait.

Rohan declares that he is now tired and wants to sit on my lap for round two of twist and squirm. After twenty more minutes of this wonderful activity Emily returns from the outside world. She hits Allie's arm on the way in. Allie starts to cry. Emily hushes her up. This probably happened during a meaningful scene; I wouldn't know. Emily asks for her keys. I throw Rohan into his booster seat. It slides to the side. He starts to complain, I shush at him. I fidget through all of the wrong pockets trying to locate the keys, while of course Rohan is trying to tell her that the guy has turned into Batman, and not quietly I might add. By this time I'm sure that the people behind us are just loving their choice of seats. After giving her the keys, she asks where her purse is. I'm sure that gunther guy kicked it high and low, and for the life of me I just cannot feel where it's at. No other choice. I get on my f***ing hands and knees and start to peer under the seats. Even as a kid I never crawled on a theater floor. What a lovely place it is. As soon as my eyes start to adjust to my new surroundings, Emily hisses in my general direction that she meant the diaper bag. I look at her, soooooooo happy that my hands are coated with theater floor residue. I shove the diaper bag at her and hope that she catches my glare. Emily hustles off and I climb back into my seat.

After a while the movie ends, we get up and walk to the lobby. There is Emily at the box office counter with three movie girlies, including the human calculator. Elena is on the counter, holding one of Emily's hands, bouncing up and down, waving to the drooling girlies going ga-ga over baby party tricks. In Emily's other hand is a Father's Day Sith poster.

Score: Mommy 1 --- Daddy 0.

Up next, Fantastic 4.

I'm about to go to bed. Elena is quiet...she's been asleep for about two hours now. Emily has Rohan at the E.R. His breathing became short tonight and he complained about his chest hurting. He's been coughing so much the last couple of days and regular cough syrup just isn't helping at all. They've been there for almost three hours now, and she just called saying that they've been put in a room in same day surgery to await a doctor, since the E.R. is too full. Poor Rohan...I hate seeing my little boy have to go through this.

We enjoyed a nice Super Bowl Sunday at our friends' house in Belleville. Thanks again for having us Doug and Jess!!!

My Dad is recovering from having a torn retina re-attached. He's not being too patient with the healing process. I think after you reach the age of 60, patience is all but gone. The poor man needs a vacation from health problems...and so does my Mom for that matter, but wow, is that another story.

Have I been absent for a while or what?!?!?! :)

Maybe I'll start blogging again. I haven't really been online much, or around the computer much for that matter. Life has been really different for the last five months or so, but it's starting to return back to normal...the normal that preceeded Elena's birth, I guess. It feels nice, really. No big opinions to spout out right now, or nothing monumental to say ---I just thought I'd throw some sort of post up, put out the signal that I'm still here.

I'm going to bed now...hoping that I hear from Emily soon...