Is this Thirty Something?

Where does string come from and how did it get all over my floor?
There is more toothpaste dried in the sink than there is in the tube.
The dish washer runs every day.
There is always a mountain of clean clothes to be folded that tries to merge with the dirty to be washed.
Somehow my desk is always littered with toys.
The trash is never empty.
Flashlights are always dead.
The gas tank is always on empty.
I don't know where we keep kleenex, but it's easy to find them wadded up.
When I go to use the bathroom there are towels laying everywhere; when I get out of the shower, there are none to be found.
There are always dead batteries where the fresh ones should be kept.
I swear dust-bunnies multiply faster than rabbits.
My leather car seats always have toddler footprints on them.
I'm always stepping in goldfish crackers.
I hate balloons and the fights that they cause.
Every room in our house is infested with Legos.
How does my two year old find chocolate anywhere she goes?
If it's plastic and makes crinkly noises, the cat will find it at three in the morning.
There are no sharpened pencils in our house.
I never remember as a kid asking my parents during the week, "So are we doing anything tonight?"
I think I'm the only person at my house who executes the final step of changing a diaper: dispose of in waste receptacle.
Every light in the house is left on during the day, yet they all seem to magically turn off after sunset.
Above all, children should never have been given instruction on how to use a DVR.
Who knew a two year old could break so many DVDs in half?
My kids can't finish a glass of anything.
They also ignore loose change.
How do we manage to simultaneously start every checkbook in the box?
I used to listen to music that I liked.
When was I not tired?