"In the Sun" by Joseph Arthur

I picture you in the sun
Wondering what went wrong
And falling down on your knees
Asking for sympathy
And being caught in between all you wish for
And all you've seen
And trying to find anything you can feel
That you can believe in

May God's love be with you
Always....
May God's love be with you

I know I would apologize
If I could see your eyes
'Cause when you showed me myself, you know
I became someone else
But I was caught in between all you wish for
And all you need
I picture you fast asleep
The nightmare comes
You can't keep awake

May God's love be with you
Always...
May God's love be with you

'Cause if I find
If I find my own way
How much will I find
If I find
If I find my own way
How much will I find you
You...
I'll find you
You...

I don't know anymore
What it's for
I'm not even sure
If there is anyone
Who is in the sun
Will you help me to understand
'Cause I've been caught in between all you wish for
and all you need
Maybe you're not even sure
What it's for
Any more than me

May God's love be with you
Always...
May God's love be with you
Always...
May God's love be with you

'Cause if I find
If I find my own way
How much will I find
If I find
If I find my own way
How much will I find
If I find
If I find my own way
How much will I find you
You...
I'll find you
You...

One Month

Monstrously
Razzmatazz amazingly
Surely feverishly
Inexplicably
Adamantly
Wonderfully
Unreasonably
By far unseasonably
A parting of the seas for me
Hail that cab for you
Bow to the night for me
Interestingly
Never effortlessly
Abiding by the rules
Accordingly
Tripping into you
Crashingly
Smashingly
Try me and take me
Earnestly
Sweetly
Softly
Wait then wait then
Reach to the sky
Open-heartedly
Heatedly
Passionately
Forever intensely
Enigmatically
Finally
For the sanity
Of you and me
For all time
That we both see
That we shouldn't be
Walking through this life
Unhappily
It really can be so easily
Remedied so stand
so tall then run to me
Like Hell is lapping
At your feet
You will find your strength
And stare out at the world
With eyes stronger than me
I can see you now
Hear you now
Telling your story so
Vividly
Convincingly
Matira Beach I can see
Such a nice thing to dream
All because of your simple smile
Digitally and sincerely
From you to me

Such Beauty Gone

I want to be
A mountain stream
That flows down from
The highest of peaks
I would cleanse
All places of darkness I would
Do this all
Unseen
I want to be
The tallest of trees
I would protect
All who needed me
I could give
Shelter and more
If someone just needed
Me

Too many days
With no one around
Feel that
Lower can’t be found
I crawl through the truths
Maze riddled haze
Grasp at
Every single sound
I hear a song of
Such beauty gone
And I recognize
My fear
With too many days
With no one around
There is a chance
The end is near

I want to be
A circle of stars
A crown in the heavens
Seen from Earth
I would show
The lost the way
I would guide
Their path
I want to be
A great stone hearth
That brings a fire
To the world
None would go cold
I would stay and never go
If someone just needed
Me

Too many days
With no one around
Feel that
Lower can’t be found
I crawl through the truths
Maze riddled haze
Grasp at
Every single sound
I hear a song of
Such beauty gone
And I recognize
My fear
With too many days
With no one around
There is a chance
The end is near

Illusion of Elusiveness

High order concern
Superfluous thoughts
Brain hurricane
Lingering worries
The binding restraints
Of the situation
Sleep deprivation
Emotive starvation
But processing it all
Reflection and translation
An easy to see function
I marvel at our likeness
Knowing the answer
Afraid to say it
Too soon too early too much
But still...
Cannot second guess
The strikingly obvious
The honest observation
Complexity colored with
Hues of simplicity
While not diminishing
The struggle and anguish
The seemingly onerous decision
This fall harvest of emotion
Double edge of what is fair
But oh! think of your needs
Sedative of heart and mind
That above all is paramount
Do not leave yourself
See the strength I see
See the beauty I see
And have courage
Transcend
Have peace
Sleep

Like Nothing Ever Happened

Take the trip
Back to town
To remember when you
Wanted the finer things
Oh! the cotton blends of
Life so fast
You wanted in
But then you never
Had the chance to
Hang on so you
Went on your own trip
Through the stars
Mapped how you like
Yet in it all
Something wasn't right
So you looked to the four
Corners of the room
That you're soaking in
'Cause it seems
New now and then
You say that some things
Can't be shared
And you're scared that
You could be right

In the middle of it all
Holding on sitting still
Watching the parade
Wave at you as it goes
"Bye, Bye! --
See you next year!"
It was fun I thought...
And those thoughts
Were so nice

The disappearing
Laughs and smiles
That you owned
Now traded in for
Rough ends and the
Dreading of
Turning into
The lost episode
That no one will
Ever watch
And it's so real
Like the wind went still
And the leaves
That were your life
Begin to fall

(No sand castles
No skipping thrills
No slush-ball kills
Everything
Taken
Away...
Grab hold
Embrace it
Remember
Forever)

In the middle of it all
Holding on sitting still
Watching the parade
Wave at you as it goes
"Bye, Bye! --
See you next year!"
It was fun I thought...
And those thoughts
Were so nice

dgc '98

I am the Phoenix

I was dead but
I am still aware
I am careful to consider
I am full of emotion
I will rise again today
I was empty but
I am alive with desire
I am stored up with passion
I am willing to wait
I will win a smile today
I was the sacrifice but
I am reassembling
I am reconstituting
I am reconstructing
I will be of clear mind and conscience
I was fearful of new feelings
I am now firm in what I want
I am brimming full in my heart
I am ready for today
I am ready to see new beauty
I am ready to taste new love
I am ready to hear new whispers
I am ready to touch a new kindness
I am ready now
I am ready for today
I am the phoenix

Road Trip into the Sun

This a road long ago traveled
Maybe completely unknown
It is hard to tell
Hard to see
Surely there are markers
But in this blur unseen
Speeding and speeding and speeding
Where there were torrents of rain
Now the sun is too bright
The weather almost too fair
Am I hopelessly open?
Too purposefully unguarded?
Earnest and willing?
Speeding and speeding and speeding
I just feel like exploding though!
It is so difficult to explain
A puffed up searing in my chest
The thought of touching something
So illuminated in perpetuity
How can I possibly slow down?
But was not common sense
Made for times like this?
Yet did I ever or have I ever
Really ever subscribed to that?
Spontaneity and a robust desire
Have never served ill my
Honest and hopeful intentions
But there is that floating fear
That pervades throughout my mind
That intercepts and tries to derail
My most minute attempts at happiness
That fear that leaves me considering that
All of this...
Every fine porcelain facet of this
Is nothing more than an
Evanescent dream
Something that I was not meant to have
Something meant for someone else
Of which I will never be worthy
A fear I will never set foot
Out of this wilderness
But it just cannot be!
As much as I fear it
Even so much greater
Is my adamant denial of that fear
So much so that I know
Deep down in my heart
That there is a possibility
There is the chance
However small
However unlikely
That I might touch this light
Bathe in its warmth
Even if I risk burning alive
Just to give back...
To give all of what I am...
Unashamed
Unrestricted
Uninhibited
With no concern of
Mutual exchange
Just knowing that
I am making a difference
Knowing that I am bringing
Joy and happiness
To another
In my mind it is an abolute
So undeniably worth it
Speeding and speeding and speeding
Just to make it in time
To be able to once again say
I love you.

Pause and Apprehension

I can smell it...
I can almost feel it...
I know it is there
A new breeze
Though faint I know it is there
Because I have heard its voice
I have heard its song
And I just keep waiting and waiting
And the candles are burning down
And fear is creeping around my mind
And that fear has only stolen aboard
By way of an older and less promising
Harsh wind of the past
Guiltless and remorseless
A wind that was full of promises
But turned everything barren
In its wake and is now rearing
Its face once again
Selfishness in spite of my pain
And so now I am here
Almost in the dark
Trying so desperately
To shield myself
Trying so hard
To keep the door open
For just a bit longer
Just a few moments longer
Hoping and waiting
Waiting and hoping
That the new breeze
Has not disappeared
But will return
To scatter the dark
To open up the sky
To bring change
To tell me it will be alright
To save me