Rohan

Seriously...I've never been a huge fan of myself, and for my son, this person...this human being that did not exist when I was fighting for an identity as an adolescent, to have ridden his bike to my house with his cool Tony Hawk helmet on that i bought for him three years ago... it is one of the single most monumental events that has ever affected me. THAT is what I mean by "bursting." I can't contain what is inside of me. I love them so, so much.

Day 14,107

Conclusion: One person always loves; One person always leaves.

El & Eddie: Radical

A preview on a dvd said the word radical...
Riddick: Elena, do you know what radical means?
El: Yup. It's means awesome.
Riddick: Mmm-hmm.

Sentenced

Baffled
Again ignorant
Foolish to be sure
Ever and ever
Open and...
Defenseless
How
Much
More
Before there is
Nothing left
Hollowed
And empty
But...
Such is the
Blindness
Onset by
That stupid
Word
The word that
I fear to use
As its utterance
Is like the
Whispered admission
Of some
Heinous act
Some atrocity
I'm immediately
Cast in chains
Awaiting
The executioner
One swing
And it is
No more
But damn it all!
What else is there?
What more
Should I want?
It's what I feel
It's pure
It's passionate
It is
Real!
And yet...
Yet...
Motives distrusted
Deeds suspected
Because...
Because why?
Why?
Why? Why? Why?
...
I cannot answer
I only know
The feelings that
Are ripping
My
Chest
Apart
And before the
Stroke should fall
I would hope
As you stare
At me kneeling
On the platform
You would see
Me
Whisper
"I..."

6thers

Shiver scream blink tick lock
Shuffle
Muffle
Etched crack fading tiles
Echo empathy
Grin giggle apathy
Refresh
Smile stretch
All the um ever and
Whateverishness
Scribble shhh! fold note throw
Rebound
Turn around
Dart oh so sly quick eyes
Bell! Out of jail...free!

Among the mobile

I blew my back out Tuesday and spent the next four days in bed. Of all things, I was doing an ab circuit. I realize now though that the leg lifts had weakened my lower lumbar region. Whenever I do them it's gets my lower back burning, which of course is exciting. However, this particular time, when I moved on to burpees, (and I think this was second round) halfway through the set I felt a sudden smoosh in my back when I exploded from the squatting position. I knew immediately what had happened. I managed to ignore the increasing pain level when J and I went to dinner that night, but after I retired for the evening I wasn't able to make it out of bed again unaided. My dad and Rohan were absolutely amazing through the whole ordeal. I was very lucky to have the kids both Wednesday and Thursday evenings, as Rohan was always quick to offer help. The kid is quickly becoming an admirable young man. Also, I can't thank my dad enough for bringing me three meals a day. I'm also very grateful to my GM at The Hideout for being understanding and giving me time off, even when I was one of only two bartenders available for the busy weekend. So, today was the first day that I was able to walk. I was finally able to shower, and I did some small chores around the house. I'm still going to take it slow and easy the next couple of days; not taking any teaching assignments till Wednesday, and I'm not scheduled to return to The Hideout until Friday. I'm just happy and thankful to be among the mobile again.