Tonight I'm going to do my best to organize and file away papers that have littered my room and the loft for the last several weeks. The need for them has expired as my professional semester is finally over. I had considered retelling the sordid tale about how I was told two weeks ago that I would not be graduating, because I was three credit hours short of fulfilling my mathematics concentration hours. However, even the retelling would be too exhausting. Needless to say, I passed a proficiency test in statistics to acquire the necessary hours to graduate. It was not without many a sleepless night this past week, studying whenever I could, only to believe that I had failed the test this past Tuesday morning. Yes, I did indeed pass, but there is no way that it was pretty --I am still very upset at what I feel was a dismal performance of my display of content knowledge. However, withstanding my feelings about it all, the grade posted, and I will be graduating this Saturday. It's still amazing for me to consider that passing my Teacher Education Program Portfolio Capstone was not the greatest stress of this past week.
My time spent pursuing my degree has not been without trials and pains. I began in January 2008 at John A. Logan College, getting my Associates within a year, so I could begin the TEP at SIUC the following January. I pulled many all-nighters while at SIU, because I believed in what I was doing...I wanted desperately to absorb what I could from my instructors and the coursework to supplement what I considered to be my natural teaching tendencies. However, my personal life took an exceptional turn that nearly caused me to quit a year ago. Even those closest to me advised me to take time off. I couldn't do it...I felt such a sense of immediacy, I had to stay the course. In retrospect, I have no regrets, because I believe that everything happens for a reason. --and if the friends that I made along the way were the only things gained in all of this, then I would consider this journey extremely well worth it.
I don't really know how to explain the whole tale to my children. I began many years ago out of high school, choosing to follow my dream of being a professional musician after my dream of being a graphic designer seemed out of the question. I worked many jobs while playing music, and then settled into what I knew best: carpentry. It's what I had indirectly been raised to do by my father, which is ironic considering that he was a high school teacher for almost thirty years. I had never considered going to college, as I had worked so hard to be a craftsman over many years, excelling in my trade as a home builder. It's funny to reflect on that now as I wait tables at a steak house to achieve this end of becoming a teacher. Yet, if I hadn't made the decisions that I did, no matter how crazy they were, I would have never gained what I value the most in this silly life, my four beautiful children. So, I believe that I would tell my children to not second guess what their hearts are telling them to do, no matter what the short-term outcome may seem to be.
I guess in signing off, I would like to thank all of my close friends and family who lent me their ears when I needed someone to listen to my woes. I feel extremely privileged to have had such great instructors at JALC and SIU. I could not have had a better student teaching experience as what I had with my incredible cooperating teacher and a dynamite group of fourth graders. And finally, my children have been the strongest people I know, watching their father go through lessons in life, from which I know I did a horrible job shielding them. I hate thinking that they have been affected in some adverse way in all of this, and I understand that it has been unavoidable, but I have honestly tried to be the best father that I could be. Thankfully, as this chapter in my life has come to an end, and a new one is beginning, I can finally direct a majority of my attention to them.
I praise God for allowing me to have arrived at this place, and I cannot wait to begin my new career as an educator. I have embraced all that I have been given in this life, for better and for worse, and have given thanks all the while. I have known many tears and much laughter...and I choose to know many more. I would ask after having read this, do not do as I have done, only do as you would do. Always smile and make those around you feel greater than the day. When you love, love fiercely, no matter the personal cost. And finally...
always...
always, carpe diem!
Make your lives extraordinary!
DGC
