Breaking point
I've seen them the same
Mine own forgotten measure
Suspension of...
Well...
Prolonged belief?
Or maybe it's the
Affective embattlement
Just so...
Caught up in it all
Frightening emotions
Muddled justifications
Breathing intermittently
Passionately feasting
Picking and choosing
Razor sharp jagged shards
Placements guessed
Adjusted hastily
Fusing together
Mismatched edges
But aren't the colours
So marvelous!
So mesmerizing!
Ah, yes!
Passively convenient reasoning
Movement outside
Alarms ring out
Sense of hearing...
Muffled
Sense of feeling...
Prickly and tingling
Instinct and notions...
Paused and reeling
Knowing better
Does not matter
Matter of fact
It's better not knowing
I'm wearing it all out
Because I do not know
Maybe even don't care
What to wear...
That which is primed
Polished
Dazzling
Seductive...
Or dirty
Frazzled
Travel-worn
Covered in blood of
My all time
I really do not know
And in this all
I say my own name
Out loud...
Just to hear it said
And for a second
It means something
And then that second
...Passes
It joins all of the rest
That time takes back
As freely as it
Eternally surrenders
And I'm still here
Occupying a loaned space
Passing out handbills
Advertising the great
Carnival of Make-Believe
Yes, the one and the same
That I as a youngster
Stole entry through a tear
In a side panel
So, so decorated!
And now look at me
I've mended it myself
With threads of pretense
Marking myself
So clever
So meticulous
So...
Lowered
And...
Jaded
I can admit it
Or
I can hide it
Maybe I'm tired
Of fixing it
Maybe I'm tired
Of talking about it
Yes...
Very, very, very
Tired of talking about it
And so...
I look deep and hard
To draw it out and
Offer it up to be gone
Forever
I see lines that
Years have drawn
A foundation of all
That are yet to come
And maybe...
Maybe I'm okay...
For now...
For yet one more day
I'm still thirty-six.
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