While at the coffee shop listening to our favorite barista cycle through sampled gun sounds on his phone...
Elena: Well, that's not very satisfying.
Riddick: Well, you're not very satisfying.
Elena: I don't think you know what the word even means.
Riddick: Yup. I have no clue.
June 03, 2014
March 27, 2014
Maybe it's in the pizza...
Elena, about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: "Dad, will they always remain teenaged?"
December 04, 2013
I miss the Civil Wars
Is it just the time?
Is it really 4:16 a.m.?
Why must I search?
Room all red
Echoes that laugh
And they sing
The Civil Wars
The two that made me question
The two that made me believe
And even they quit
No matter my wish
I'm old enough
Oh, yes
I'm old enough
Old enough to know
Nothing lasts
None of this is real
Dreams are reality
Reality is a dream
Like her
Like all of the hers
She who lit the flame
That lit my spirit
That fueled my fire
Which searched to give
Warmth and all of it
All that I thought
That had a direction
But found none
Because I was...
Not him
And finally
Burned me out
To a cinder of what I was
Yes, her
That one that you're thinking of
The one that isn't real
The one that they sang about
The one that I thought was real
The Civil Wars
Room all red
This room so big
This room so empty
See me so alone
Rewind and repeat
Push play and here I go
Her and her and her
Oh once again
All of them
Their shadows dim
No proof that they were even here
She wasn't here
They were a dream
She was a dream
They weren't real
She wasn't real
She wasn't warm
She didn't feel
And what does it take?
What can make me quit?
What can destroy my beliefs?
It takes seeing to believe
A growing belly
A truck in the driveway
A glowing phone
An emoticon reply
A picture of two smiles
Reading what was
Never said about me
It takes these things
To make me believe
That there was never her
That there was never me
That there was never ever
Anything at all
To ever believe in
That as they sing
That as they say
I've been lonely
Too long
But who are they?
They are gone.
Is it really 4:16 a.m.?
Why must I search?
Room all red
Echoes that laugh
And they sing
The Civil Wars
The two that made me question
The two that made me believe
And even they quit
No matter my wish
I'm old enough
Oh, yes
I'm old enough
Old enough to know
Nothing lasts
None of this is real
Dreams are reality
Reality is a dream
Like her
Like all of the hers
She who lit the flame
That lit my spirit
That fueled my fire
Which searched to give
Warmth and all of it
All that I thought
That had a direction
But found none
Because I was...
Not him
And finally
Burned me out
To a cinder of what I was
Yes, her
That one that you're thinking of
The one that isn't real
The one that they sang about
The one that I thought was real
The Civil Wars
Room all red
This room so big
This room so empty
See me so alone
Rewind and repeat
Push play and here I go
Her and her and her
Oh once again
All of them
Their shadows dim
No proof that they were even here
She wasn't here
They were a dream
She was a dream
They weren't real
She wasn't real
She wasn't warm
She didn't feel
And what does it take?
What can make me quit?
What can destroy my beliefs?
It takes seeing to believe
A growing belly
A truck in the driveway
A glowing phone
An emoticon reply
A picture of two smiles
Reading what was
Never said about me
It takes these things
To make me believe
That there was never her
That there was never me
That there was never ever
Anything at all
To ever believe in
That as they sing
That as they say
I've been lonely
Too long
But who are they?
They are gone.
September 21, 2013
Elena continues to prove that she's bigger than me
I'm finally getting around to posting about this. Earlier this week, Elena came into my bedroom holding an impromptu art project. She's such the lady of the household that she can get out anything art and craft related, make a mess in her creative modds, clean it all up, and I'm almost never the wiser. Thus, I wasn't even aware that she had been busy with a project. She asked what I thought about it --it was a pink impression of her hand-prints on a piece of white glitter foam-board glued at an angle on a pink piece of glitter foam-board. It was done really nicely, and I asked, "What is it for?" She replied, "Well, I just wanted to do it for school to take and show my teacher and my class. I think it shows we can beat cancer."
Yeah.
Proud, proud, proud.
Yeah.
Proud, proud, proud.
August 20, 2013
Having a bad day?
Recently I have noticed frequent facebook posts by friends that state things like, "My life is over!" or "I give up!" My life has been on a stuttering reboot ever since my divorce almost four years ago. Since then I have had many days that things don't really go my way. Upon further reflection, my life isn't quite where I thought it would be at all at the age of forty. Yet, through it all I've never "given up." Make no mistake --it hasn't been a bad life, especially being blessed with three beautiful children and having my health. It just hasn't been a cake-walk either. You're probably thinking, "Sure Derek, whatever." In that event, please read further as I quickly recap my litany of my life's low-points...
- After high school my junior college art instructor discouraged all notions of using computers in the field of commercial art, so I dropped out of college. I would not return to higher education for another seventeen years.
- The girl whom I considered my soul-mate went off to college and quickly broke up with me. We had been on and off for about three years. We touched upon resolving things, but it never worked out. Ah, the perils of young love.
- I felt as though I was forced to leave my home after high school, but of course everyone must leave the nest at some point. I lived in a crawlspace under a friend's bedroom for awhile (I could sit up in bed, but my head was between floor joists when I did) that was infested with mice. I also lived on a friends back porch for some time with no heat. That was a cold winter. I was grateful though for the shelter.
- My band Cruces toured much and played many label festivals and was promised many good things with many handshakes. Nothing ever worked out for the band. At one point we had collected over ninety rejection letters from record labels. Cruces had thirteen total members. At any given time there were four to six people in the line-up, so that is a lot of line-up changes through the band's twelve year existence. Some of those departures were not friendly. it was very difficult having friendships, or rather, brother-like relationships torn apart. Ultimately, two members leaving at the same time spurred me to end the band and start over with Heavy Wishing.
- My first marriage was an on-going fight. We fought almost every night about something. In fact, I have really no memories from that marriage, because I can only assume I have blocked it in some way. I do know that I was miserable and finally got out.
- I have had to witness all of my grandparents, two uncles, and two aunts die of terminal illnesses. I can also count four good friends that have passed away, and have had to watch as friends lay their children to rest. Let's say I've had much practice as a pallbearer and singing at funerals.
- My second wife and I tried our hardest as owners of a tanning/beauty salon to make it work. Near the end we were putting over a thousand dollars a month out of our own pockets into the business. Ultimately we had to walk away from the business and file for bankruptcy.
- I spent hundreds of hours learning web design and hundreds more doing freelance work for clients. It never paid off, so I took up work at a fireplace/lighting shop. I was thankful for the work, but we watched ourselves get further in debt as the pay wasn't enough.
- For a greater part of my adult life I built houses with my father or other crews. The physical work was very hard and took its toll on my back. Whereas there were times that the money was good, those periods of time between jobs were hard financially. I ultimately gave up being a contractor and went back to college, because we were constantly underbid for jobs and it was incredibly expensive to stay insured.
- My second wife of eleven years walked into our bedroom one evening and said that she had divorce papers drawn up. No warning. I tried hard for some sort of reconciliation for two months. It never happened. It finally took a couple months of counseling to get me to stop placing the blame on myself.
- Immediately after the divorce I got a job stocking shelves at Kroger. During this time I was taking around 18 hours at SIU in the Teacher Education Program. It was the second block and nothing but paper after paper, many group projects, and constant portfolio work. I would go to work from 8pm-2:30am, get home and unwind by working out, start homework around 3:30am, usually go to sleep by 6am, and wake at 7am to get ready for classes. I survived on one hour of sleep during those work nights for six weeks. I took fifteen minute power naps on campus in any nook and cranny I could find. Along with coping with my failed marriage and living away from my children, it was the closest I ever came to a complete mental breakdown.
- I was told two weeks before graduating SIU that I was not in fact graduating. My adviser told me that I was three credit hours short. Within the next two weeks I borrowed money to pay for a statistics course at John A Logan, crammed for the class's final exam, and scored an 80.5; I needed an 80 to get credit for the course. I won't even describe the hell associated with that debacle and all the additional legwork involved in even getting SIU and JALC to work together in time for not only my graduation, but to get my teaching certificate in time to get one day of subbing in to qualify for the outgoing teaching retirement system. Ultimately a snow day killed that final goal on the last day of school before Christmas break. However, I did graduate with my peers and walked during graduation at the age of 37.
- In the last three years I have applied for countless teaching positions and have been shot down each and every time. I'm always told, "Well, it's who you know!" Really? Please. I know tons of people, and I will forever be grateful for those who have constantly gone to bat for me with countless phone calls, texts, and emails. It's difficult having touched the lives of hundreds of students as a substitute teacher, having them shout out "Mr. Cook!" every time they see me, and putting all of my heart into teaching in a classroom, only to know that I will never get a job as a public school teacher for whatever reason, which in most cases has been either because I wasn't related to a school board member, or I did not have coaching experience.
- Last fall I did two back-to-back leaves at an area high school as a math teacher. This tenure was from the second week of school into the early part of November. During this time, I somehow started in the middle of a pay period, and then there was the standard withholding period of a new employee. Meaning, it was around six weeks or so before I got my first paycheck, during which time I was out over five-hundred dollars in gas and food for work, the restaurant where I work evenings was slow, my power got shut off (which resulted in being turned in to DCFS), my water got shut off, and finally my phone got shut off. Yet I never missed a day of work, and did my damnedest to make sure those students were taught the lessons to the best of my abilities.
- I have been through several long-term relationships and break-ups since my divorce. None of them easy, and one or two that caused great heartache.
- My music has reached all over the globe in some fashion or the other thanks to internet radio and album sales on iTunes and Amazon. I have not received any monetary compensation, because it all goes back into advertising, and I will ultimately die a virtual unknown artist, because of the attitudes of the general population of music consumers in regards to unsigned acts. [READ WITH SARCASM] Because of course, if you're not signed to a major record deal, you must not be any good.
- I'm like every other poor bloke right now: I have about ten dollars in checking, I live from nightly tips as a server/bartender, I can't pay for old credit card debts incurred during my message and have constant court summons about said debts, something is always breaking down on my car, have spent thousands of dollars on overdraft fees, and live off of quinoa and dried beans. It is what it is.
Now...there is the great possibility that my just dues are coming. My fingers are crossed about a second interview with a company for whom I would love to work. I may actually be able to join the higher paid workforce which will change my life considerably. In the past three years I have discovered personal fitness which not only keeps my core strong, averting issues with my back, but it keeps me high on life. I continue to have a great relationship with my children, including my step-daughter from my second marriage. I maintain several relationships with long-term friends and even some newer friends. I also have a deep personal religious faith. I'm not outspoken about it at all, but it has always kept me going. I have seen friends quit and seemingly take the easy way out, but I will NOT let this world beat me down. You're all stuck with me and my optimism. You'll constantly see me post motivational images and videos to social networks. Not only does someone out there need it, I need it from time to time as well. Peace and many blessings to you all.
August 08, 2013
El & Eddie: Tags
Elena: Riddick, your tag is showing.
June 15, 2013
El & Eddie: Bertram and the Bunnies?
At the table while eating lunch...
Riddick: Elena, Bertram is afraid of bunnies.El: Riddick, Bertram IS a bunny.
Riddick: Well, he's still afraid of them.
El: You're so weird.
Riddick: Heheheh
(I have no idea what they are talking about.)
March 28, 2013
Yes, There Was Fire
I've just awakened
From dreaming
We were both there
And yes!
Your hair had changed
And was changing
In all the burning colors
The fiery hues
In all the effervescence
Of your passions
The whole of you
Pulsating, changing
Warming, breathing
Beating, exclaiming
That you were alive!
And how then
Could I not then
For who I am
Not rush then to
Entangle my hands
In this fountain
Of living fire?
And laugh then
To know then
That the moment
Was as beautiful
And as
Brief
As
The
Sunset
From dreaming
We were both there
And yes!
Your hair had changed
And was changing
In all the burning colors
The fiery hues
In all the effervescence
Of your passions
The whole of you
Pulsating, changing
Warming, breathing
Beating, exclaiming
That you were alive!
And how then
Could I not then
For who I am
Not rush then to
Entangle my hands
In this fountain
Of living fire?
And laugh then
To know then
That the moment
Was as beautiful
And as
Brief
As
The
Sunset
February 28, 2013
February 21, 2013
El & Eddie: Unfortunate Felines
When I tucked Riddick in he informed me that cats only have nine lives. Poor things.
February 01, 2013
Retrospective: Day 10,805 - My First Blog Post?!
Out of curiosity, I just checked to see when I began this blog, because I was pretty sure it was in '03. My first post was on February 26 of that year. Ten very long years ago. It's a very brief post that paints a vague picture of how different my life was at the age of twenty-nine. For you...trivial, but for me...mindblowing.
Day 14,433 - "...and never sleep for wanting hours..."
A First of February blog post. Ah, this month --the shortest of the year and seemingly longest as well with no small part being how bleak the weather can be this time of year. We're lucky to have the sun shining today, but it is definitely frigid out. I am loathe to run in it, but really need to if I am to commit to some sort of consistency.
This seems to be the month of personal reparation after licking my Christmas wounds for seemingly all of January. The after-holiday lull in the restaurant business was the greatest killer, along with the school holiday break leeching into a greater part of the month than usual which meant less subbing jobs. I had too many free days and nights, and suffered a smashing head cold after my trip to Chicago. Simply put, January plain sucked as far as cash inflow.
Now I have an onslaught of work in front of me. My days are a delicate juggling act of when and where to work. With the current flu season, professional development seminars, and continuing educational obligations for my teaching friends doing grad work all in full swing I am in high demand for subbing gigs. At the same time, I am part of a very small construction crew that has just started a new house. My friend whom I have worked for on and off since '99 is very accommodating to my busy schedule. Basically, if I am not working elsewhere he just wants me to show up on the job site. However, at this early and crucial stage of the project it is very necessary for me to be there as many days as possible. So, I love being in the classroom and helping out my teaching friends in need, but building calls --and pays almost three times as much. On top of all of that, my good friend and landlord is at his wit's end to finish up the renovation of a farm house that he is desperate to move his family into. Unfortunately I can only give him my day times on the weekend, and this is very difficult on the weekends that I have my children. Add to all of that my night jobs. The Hideout will be picking up due to Valentine's day, and any given night around that holiday can prove to be extremely rewarding monetarily. I also have several upcoming bartending gigs booked with John Brown's at the Pavilion. It should come as no surprise, but these are always my greatest financial boons. I do not pass up those opportunities if I can help it.
After saying all of that, who can question why I haven't publicly displayed any creative output? I've not been happy in that regard. Make no mistake: I am desperate to play out. This drought in being on a stage can have an adverse effect on me psycho-emotionally. Being a performer is who I am, and when this has happened in the past, I have felt like my identity has succumbed to a slow and deadly deterioration. Thus, I hate it when this happens. Now, since August I have been compiling a great many songs. I am at no loss in that realm which does excite me greatly. My ever-fractured personal life does me true in that I haven't had a period of writer's block in years. I was able to record five songs as demos in September, but have yet to hit the studio since. Scott is going to just let me borrow the Akai deck to record at my own leisure; I've just yet to make time to go pick it up. It also may come as a shock, but I have not been in the same room collectively with the other members of Heavy Wishing since we played at John Brown's last May. In fact, I ran into Oliver about a week ago and almost didn't recognize him as his hair had grown at least six inches since I last saw him. Both he and Joe have been hard driving with their own bands respectively. With any of you that have a family or busy personal life outside of work, consider if you had to commit one or more nights a week to a hobby in addition to your other extra activities. That's what it takes to be in a band, even if to just perform a handful of dates a year and put out small a decent studio effort (which can take weeks, months, or years.) Out of respect for those guys, it's very difficult for me to ask for them to squeeze Heavy Wishing rehearsal into their already packed schedules. So unfortunately, the band is dormant and indefinitely so. This isn't a death throe though; the band has always existed outside of our other personal creative endeavors. In fact, the band went through an extended hiatus from the spring of '05 to late summer of '08. Because of our current stillness, I'm inclined to record what songs I have and release them as a solo effort outside of Heavy Wishing. If I do that, I may tread outside of my usual stylistic waters and shape the project in a way that is different than how I would approach something with the band. This is not to say that the songs would not be reworked later by Heavy Wishing. The band is always welcome to anything that I've written as I'm the principle songwriter; but the band has always operated that way, culling from offerings from all members, since we're all seasoned veterans of our craft. Regardless, I am going to commit to the early production stage of releasing something on my own.
I'm excited to be hitting the pavement again and would like to get more mileage off road as well. I didn't run much in December and almost not at all in November. I got in several runs in January which at least got me past the heavy legs. Now with spring races just around the corner, I feel like I have a good start on conditioning, whereas last year being my first as a runner I did not start until mid-March. My goal for this year is to run my first street marathon and would love to do a trail marathon as well. I ran the Bernheim trail half-marathon last year and wanted to do the full trail marathon this year, but it's on a kid weekend, and I really hate not being with them. If I can't switch out with their mother, I'm definitely not doing it. I sacrificed a weekend with them to audition for The Voice, and that about killed me. I don't think I'm quite ready for anything over 26.1, so the 50Ks and other ultras will have to wait until '14. I'd also like to think that I'll be able to go for the Spartan Trifecta, but I'll just have to see how I sit financially leading up to the Super and the Beast. Outside of that, I'd like to hit a Tough Mudder, but it's lower on my running short list than the marathons.
In a nutshell that's what's going on with me outside of my personal life. In case you overhear me say, "Oh, not much" as a friendly response to the rhetorical inquiry, "What's been going on?" you can smile, because you're in the know. If you respond in kind to me asking you the same, know that I know that you are probably every bit as burdened as I am with everyday life, but would rather save your breath for laughs and good mindless conversation as we enjoy our interim between days.
On your side,
Derek
This seems to be the month of personal reparation after licking my Christmas wounds for seemingly all of January. The after-holiday lull in the restaurant business was the greatest killer, along with the school holiday break leeching into a greater part of the month than usual which meant less subbing jobs. I had too many free days and nights, and suffered a smashing head cold after my trip to Chicago. Simply put, January plain sucked as far as cash inflow.
Now I have an onslaught of work in front of me. My days are a delicate juggling act of when and where to work. With the current flu season, professional development seminars, and continuing educational obligations for my teaching friends doing grad work all in full swing I am in high demand for subbing gigs. At the same time, I am part of a very small construction crew that has just started a new house. My friend whom I have worked for on and off since '99 is very accommodating to my busy schedule. Basically, if I am not working elsewhere he just wants me to show up on the job site. However, at this early and crucial stage of the project it is very necessary for me to be there as many days as possible. So, I love being in the classroom and helping out my teaching friends in need, but building calls --and pays almost three times as much. On top of all of that, my good friend and landlord is at his wit's end to finish up the renovation of a farm house that he is desperate to move his family into. Unfortunately I can only give him my day times on the weekend, and this is very difficult on the weekends that I have my children. Add to all of that my night jobs. The Hideout will be picking up due to Valentine's day, and any given night around that holiday can prove to be extremely rewarding monetarily. I also have several upcoming bartending gigs booked with John Brown's at the Pavilion. It should come as no surprise, but these are always my greatest financial boons. I do not pass up those opportunities if I can help it.
After saying all of that, who can question why I haven't publicly displayed any creative output? I've not been happy in that regard. Make no mistake: I am desperate to play out. This drought in being on a stage can have an adverse effect on me psycho-emotionally. Being a performer is who I am, and when this has happened in the past, I have felt like my identity has succumbed to a slow and deadly deterioration. Thus, I hate it when this happens. Now, since August I have been compiling a great many songs. I am at no loss in that realm which does excite me greatly. My ever-fractured personal life does me true in that I haven't had a period of writer's block in years. I was able to record five songs as demos in September, but have yet to hit the studio since. Scott is going to just let me borrow the Akai deck to record at my own leisure; I've just yet to make time to go pick it up. It also may come as a shock, but I have not been in the same room collectively with the other members of Heavy Wishing since we played at John Brown's last May. In fact, I ran into Oliver about a week ago and almost didn't recognize him as his hair had grown at least six inches since I last saw him. Both he and Joe have been hard driving with their own bands respectively. With any of you that have a family or busy personal life outside of work, consider if you had to commit one or more nights a week to a hobby in addition to your other extra activities. That's what it takes to be in a band, even if to just perform a handful of dates a year and put out small a decent studio effort (which can take weeks, months, or years.) Out of respect for those guys, it's very difficult for me to ask for them to squeeze Heavy Wishing rehearsal into their already packed schedules. So unfortunately, the band is dormant and indefinitely so. This isn't a death throe though; the band has always existed outside of our other personal creative endeavors. In fact, the band went through an extended hiatus from the spring of '05 to late summer of '08. Because of our current stillness, I'm inclined to record what songs I have and release them as a solo effort outside of Heavy Wishing. If I do that, I may tread outside of my usual stylistic waters and shape the project in a way that is different than how I would approach something with the band. This is not to say that the songs would not be reworked later by Heavy Wishing. The band is always welcome to anything that I've written as I'm the principle songwriter; but the band has always operated that way, culling from offerings from all members, since we're all seasoned veterans of our craft. Regardless, I am going to commit to the early production stage of releasing something on my own.
I'm excited to be hitting the pavement again and would like to get more mileage off road as well. I didn't run much in December and almost not at all in November. I got in several runs in January which at least got me past the heavy legs. Now with spring races just around the corner, I feel like I have a good start on conditioning, whereas last year being my first as a runner I did not start until mid-March. My goal for this year is to run my first street marathon and would love to do a trail marathon as well. I ran the Bernheim trail half-marathon last year and wanted to do the full trail marathon this year, but it's on a kid weekend, and I really hate not being with them. If I can't switch out with their mother, I'm definitely not doing it. I sacrificed a weekend with them to audition for The Voice, and that about killed me. I don't think I'm quite ready for anything over 26.1, so the 50Ks and other ultras will have to wait until '14. I'd also like to think that I'll be able to go for the Spartan Trifecta, but I'll just have to see how I sit financially leading up to the Super and the Beast. Outside of that, I'd like to hit a Tough Mudder, but it's lower on my running short list than the marathons.
In a nutshell that's what's going on with me outside of my personal life. In case you overhear me say, "Oh, not much" as a friendly response to the rhetorical inquiry, "What's been going on?" you can smile, because you're in the know. If you respond in kind to me asking you the same, know that I know that you are probably every bit as burdened as I am with everyday life, but would rather save your breath for laughs and good mindless conversation as we enjoy our interim between days.
On your side,
Derek
December 21, 2012
Day 14,391 - Armageddon It
Usually I'm like most people who complain that there doesn't seem to be enough hours in a day. However, this day seems to have had more than enough, and then some left over. Maybe because it's the end of the world? I dropped Elena and Riddick off at their school, took Rohan to the Junior High where I taught English for half a day, grabbed some coffee at Latta Java, talked with my friend Vinny over lunch at Thai D about a song that he's producing that we're collaborating on, got close to finishing the book I've been reading, wrapped up Christmas shopping for the kids, ran a couple miles, ate a quick recovery meal, met a friend and her boyfriend for a couple drinks, went out to eat dinner with Allie Dawn, and now I'm about to go see a killer band at John Brown's --the night is just beginning. Here's to seeing the 22nd.
December 09, 2012
Wonder Twin powers...activate!
As I was laying in bed reading, I began to eavesdrop on Riddick and Elena playing with some action figures in the living room. I heard Elena say, "She's your niece" to which Riddick responded with a flat, "Oh."
"So you're her uncle."
"Oh, I didn't know that." he answered back. At this point I sat up and noticed he was holding a Batman figurine.
"Well, I'm leaving and no one will ever find me!" he announced.
Then he jumped up, made a swooshing noise as Batman took to the air (obviously the Dark Knight now has the power of flight), and ran from the room.
I then heard Elena say to no one, "Oh, I'll find you. I will find you."
A moment later Riddick walked back into the room with his hands in his pockets and said, "Has anybody seen Batman?"
"So you're her uncle."
"Oh, I didn't know that." he answered back. At this point I sat up and noticed he was holding a Batman figurine.
"Well, I'm leaving and no one will ever find me!" he announced.
Then he jumped up, made a swooshing noise as Batman took to the air (obviously the Dark Knight now has the power of flight), and ran from the room.
I then heard Elena say to no one, "Oh, I'll find you. I will find you."
A moment later Riddick walked back into the room with his hands in his pockets and said, "Has anybody seen Batman?"
December 08, 2012
Middle of Nowhere
We were driving on Old 13, south of Carterville, with residential areas on our right and open countryside on our left. Riddick looked out his window and said, "Dad, I think that's the middle of nowhere over there."
November 16, 2012
Day 14,356 - Hostess Lost
Ding Dongs are dead
Where has Twenty-Twelve gone?
Glad it is waning
A most difficult year
Mostly low points
Ending on a high note
Rearranging
Reorganizing
Recharging
Holidays approaching
Frost on windshield
Two consecutive mornings
Mad search for my icescraper
Fuse out fuse in
Christmas decor shopping
With excited kiddos
Brave tonight!
With blankets and candles
Usual purple Friday
Only just started Clash of Kings
Running through scantrons
Readying for dogs and a turtle
Possibly the final hurdle
For the all time forevermore
Counting down for an
Unexpected Journey
Laughing at studentisms
Teacherisms
Guestisms
"...or any -ism(s) for that matter..."
I need to watch that movie again
Just a thought
Where has Twenty-Twelve gone?
Glad it is waning
A most difficult year
Mostly low points
Ending on a high note
Rearranging
Reorganizing
Recharging
Holidays approaching
Frost on windshield
Two consecutive mornings
Mad search for my icescraper
Fuse out fuse in
Christmas decor shopping
With excited kiddos
Brave tonight!
With blankets and candles
Usual purple Friday
Only just started Clash of Kings
Running through scantrons
Readying for dogs and a turtle
Possibly the final hurdle
For the all time forevermore
Counting down for an
Unexpected Journey
Laughing at studentisms
Teacherisms
Guestisms
"...or any -ism(s) for that matter..."
I need to watch that movie again
Just a thought
October 09, 2012
Day 14,318 - Status: Busy
I admit that there was a point in time in which I would post to facebook numerous times a day. Like most people I was quick to be enamored with a smart phone's GPS abilities. Thus, I "checked in" everywhere I went and subsequently posted and tagged pics. These days the allure of doing such has worn off, and it's back to living life like normal --well...or at least some facsimile thereof.
Now, just to back up for a second, the purpose of this post is not about why I'm not on facebook as frequently as I have been in the past (and by the way, I'm on facebook every day. I just don't really post much); the purpose is to quickly give my friends insight to what I have going on in my life, and why I'm not quick to respond to texts, emails, facebook messages...even phone calls. I'm sure you get my drift. I have sadly even recently not proceeded forward with a relationship with whom was probably the most incredible woman I have ever had the pleasure of getting to know. I probably have TOO much going on in my life --but I'll be the judge of that in retrospect at some future time.
Like I said, this is a quick post, with the pay-off being probably less filling that the setup. So now for the anti-climax (ha ha.) I'm currently working three jobs. I've been filling in on a maternity leave at a local high school teaching algebra and geometry. Because it is an extended leave, it falls upon me to also grade assignments. Not something a substitute gets paid to do, but hey, it comes with the territory. I've also been back at The Hideout since the end of July. Yes, I quit at the end of April, but a layoff from construction in early July, and my failure to secure a full-time teaching position has brought me back into the folds of a great work family. I have no regrets working there, because most of you know that I consider it the greatest work environment of which I've ever been a part. Finally, I'm helping a good friend remodel an old family farmhouse, so that he and his family may reside there. So technically, if I have a spare moment on my calendar, I try to work with him and knock some projects out. For instance, this Wednesday evening, if I don't pick up a shift at The Hideout, I'm going to finish installing a back door to the house.
Now, on my artistic front: yes, Heavy Wishing has not performed since this past May. However, the other members have all been busy with their own respective side projects. For myself, I haven't been resting either. I've actually experienced one of my most prolific writing periods of my career. I recently demoed five songs that have been uploaded to our cloud, so that the guys can download and listen to at their leisure. I have six more songs to record and upload, putting the total of my contribution to new material at eleven new songs. That's not saying of course that all eleven songs will make the new album, but hopefully they will soon join the band's repertoire of live material. I haven't any solo acoustic shows on the books as of right now, as my focus has been more on writing as of late, and not learning nor rehearsing cover songs. The other three members have shows booked with their side projects, so you may or may not see Heavy Wishing perform again until after the new year. In addition to writing for myself, I have just recently agreed to jump on board with my old friend Danny Wilson's latest endeavor. He has around twenty-five songs ready for collaboration on arrangements with hopes of playing some new music showcases before the year is out and possibly recording. Of course you might remember him as Cruces' original bass player, so why not jump in as a session player? He's fresh off a peer to peer song-writing retreat in Europe and also last year's success of having a song recorded by Brad Paisley.
Ahhh...my passion of the past several months: RUNNING. I haven't been running the past few weeks like I would like to. I have to admit that. My last long run was almost three weeks ago, and that was just fourteen miles. I've had to watch friends around me complete longer and more frequent runs (congrats Jessica on the Chicago Marathon!!!) Hopefully I can get back up there and acclimate to running in colder weather. Eh...not hopefully...I WILL acclimate to colder weather.
On top of all of this: FAMILY. As always, my children come first. The holidays are coming up, which are tremendously fun and exciting at our house. I can't wait! And also, in two weeks we're going to the zillionth annual Fort Massac Encampment that we love going to every year. I absolutely love fall with the kids. And Halloween! Can I take back my comments about not posting frequently to facebook? Many pictures will be uploaded in the near future, for sure.
So, if we're friends, and you've recently asked me for a favor, and several of you have (ie: illustrations and graphic art work), you can see that I honestly do not have the time. In the past I have, but as of right now, I don't. I'm like almost all of you --living life to the fullest, and almost letting it rush by without smelling the roses. If you see me sitting down and staring at the wall, it's just to catch my breath and save my sanity.
Peace.
Now, just to back up for a second, the purpose of this post is not about why I'm not on facebook as frequently as I have been in the past (and by the way, I'm on facebook every day. I just don't really post much); the purpose is to quickly give my friends insight to what I have going on in my life, and why I'm not quick to respond to texts, emails, facebook messages...even phone calls. I'm sure you get my drift. I have sadly even recently not proceeded forward with a relationship with whom was probably the most incredible woman I have ever had the pleasure of getting to know. I probably have TOO much going on in my life --but I'll be the judge of that in retrospect at some future time.
Like I said, this is a quick post, with the pay-off being probably less filling that the setup. So now for the anti-climax (ha ha.) I'm currently working three jobs. I've been filling in on a maternity leave at a local high school teaching algebra and geometry. Because it is an extended leave, it falls upon me to also grade assignments. Not something a substitute gets paid to do, but hey, it comes with the territory. I've also been back at The Hideout since the end of July. Yes, I quit at the end of April, but a layoff from construction in early July, and my failure to secure a full-time teaching position has brought me back into the folds of a great work family. I have no regrets working there, because most of you know that I consider it the greatest work environment of which I've ever been a part. Finally, I'm helping a good friend remodel an old family farmhouse, so that he and his family may reside there. So technically, if I have a spare moment on my calendar, I try to work with him and knock some projects out. For instance, this Wednesday evening, if I don't pick up a shift at The Hideout, I'm going to finish installing a back door to the house.
Now, on my artistic front: yes, Heavy Wishing has not performed since this past May. However, the other members have all been busy with their own respective side projects. For myself, I haven't been resting either. I've actually experienced one of my most prolific writing periods of my career. I recently demoed five songs that have been uploaded to our cloud, so that the guys can download and listen to at their leisure. I have six more songs to record and upload, putting the total of my contribution to new material at eleven new songs. That's not saying of course that all eleven songs will make the new album, but hopefully they will soon join the band's repertoire of live material. I haven't any solo acoustic shows on the books as of right now, as my focus has been more on writing as of late, and not learning nor rehearsing cover songs. The other three members have shows booked with their side projects, so you may or may not see Heavy Wishing perform again until after the new year. In addition to writing for myself, I have just recently agreed to jump on board with my old friend Danny Wilson's latest endeavor. He has around twenty-five songs ready for collaboration on arrangements with hopes of playing some new music showcases before the year is out and possibly recording. Of course you might remember him as Cruces' original bass player, so why not jump in as a session player? He's fresh off a peer to peer song-writing retreat in Europe and also last year's success of having a song recorded by Brad Paisley.
Ahhh...my passion of the past several months: RUNNING. I haven't been running the past few weeks like I would like to. I have to admit that. My last long run was almost three weeks ago, and that was just fourteen miles. I've had to watch friends around me complete longer and more frequent runs (congrats Jessica on the Chicago Marathon!!!) Hopefully I can get back up there and acclimate to running in colder weather. Eh...not hopefully...I WILL acclimate to colder weather.
On top of all of this: FAMILY. As always, my children come first. The holidays are coming up, which are tremendously fun and exciting at our house. I can't wait! And also, in two weeks we're going to the zillionth annual Fort Massac Encampment that we love going to every year. I absolutely love fall with the kids. And Halloween! Can I take back my comments about not posting frequently to facebook? Many pictures will be uploaded in the near future, for sure.
So, if we're friends, and you've recently asked me for a favor, and several of you have (ie: illustrations and graphic art work), you can see that I honestly do not have the time. In the past I have, but as of right now, I don't. I'm like almost all of you --living life to the fullest, and almost letting it rush by without smelling the roses. If you see me sitting down and staring at the wall, it's just to catch my breath and save my sanity.
Peace.
September 22, 2012
El & Eddie: Bumpy
Me to kids, "Kids, we've ended up with a really busy Saturday!"
Ro, "At least we have it all planned out."
Me, "That we do."
Riddick, "I have a really bumpy Saturday."
Me, "Why?"
Riddick, " 'Cause I have mosquito bites all over me!"
Ro, "At least we have it all planned out."
Me, "That we do."
Riddick, "I have a really bumpy Saturday."
Me, "Why?"
Riddick, " 'Cause I have mosquito bites all over me!"
August 22, 2012
Day 14,270 - Worthy of Note
I don't journal often, or rather not often enough. Blogging at any length at all on my phone can be quite tedious, so one might understand my infrequent posts. However, this past day was one so satisfying, I have to make note of it before I go to bed if only to look back at this post at a later date as I do others and smile. So quickly, in just a bulleted fashion:
• Awoke early and worked on my neighbor's roof for my landlord. Very near completion!
• Squeezed in a 20 min bi/tri workout.
• Caught up with several friends through texts and chatted with a new friend as well.
• Met one of my best friends for lunch at the student center and got to talk to her for almost an hour and a half, which we never do.
• Got a call from a superintendent confirming that I start observing Thursday in a class to cover a maternity leave thru October.
• Ran four miles on campus in amazing sunshine.
• Talked with another good friend for a while on drive back to Marion.
• Spoke with Rohan on my way to work which alone made my day.
• Had a great night at work, working an awesome party of fourteen who had a great time.
• Hung out with a great couple at John Brown's after work, and accepted the challenge to help this good friend lose at least 35 pounds before New Years. Totally up for it!
• Came home, and played guitar :)
And now only one more day until my four days with my babes! Loving life!
• Awoke early and worked on my neighbor's roof for my landlord. Very near completion!
• Squeezed in a 20 min bi/tri workout.
• Caught up with several friends through texts and chatted with a new friend as well.
• Met one of my best friends for lunch at the student center and got to talk to her for almost an hour and a half, which we never do.
• Got a call from a superintendent confirming that I start observing Thursday in a class to cover a maternity leave thru October.
• Ran four miles on campus in amazing sunshine.
• Talked with another good friend for a while on drive back to Marion.
• Spoke with Rohan on my way to work which alone made my day.
• Had a great night at work, working an awesome party of fourteen who had a great time.
• Hung out with a great couple at John Brown's after work, and accepted the challenge to help this good friend lose at least 35 pounds before New Years. Totally up for it!
• Came home, and played guitar :)
And now only one more day until my four days with my babes! Loving life!
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